The Verdict -- Robert Gardner

Once upon a time, there was a man called Hevs McClellan. The McClellan

was legitimate. The “Hevs” I am not sure about. I doubt seriously that

any mother voluntarily named her offspring that.

Anyway, back at the ranch, as we say in show biz, there was a guy

called Hevs McClellan, and he was in some ways the court jester of

surfing. In the early days of surfing movies, Hevs always did a comedy

role and, as the sport grew, he was usually the announcer for surf

contests, keeping the audience involved even in the worst surf with his

often raunchy line of patter.

In a recent phone conversation, Sid Soffer reminded me of the

following story.

It was at one of those surfing contests that Hevs made a boast. In

those days, there was a huge kelp bed that reached from San Pedro to San

Diego. It was so thick that you could practically lie on top of it.

Anyway, Hevs stated that the thickness of the kelp was such that he could

jump out of an airplane, onto the kelp bed and survive. His statement was

immediately disputed. Some said that he would be instantly killed when he

hit the kelp. Others insisted that while he might not be instantly

killed, he would plunge into the kelp, be unable to get back to the

surface and drown. In either case, he would be dead.

Hevs scoffed at these scenarios. He would not be killed, he would not

drown and, to prove it, he would jump out of an airplane. In fact, he

gave the day, time and place when the event would take place.

Actually, no one believed he would really do it, but surfers being a

rather irreverent lot, the beach was jammed with people ready to see Hevs

make a big splat, just in case.

When the hour arrived and nothing happened, they all said, “told you

so,” and were starting to leave the beach when someone spotted a small

plane approaching. Everyone watched as the plane circled over the kelp

bed, and then a body leaped from the plane and plummeted down, hitting

the kelp and disappearing. Two seconds later, Hevs pushed up through the

kelp, waved to the crowd and then swam in to acclamation.

Hevs was basking in the admiration when a couple of the younger

surfers came up, full of enthusiasm. With his leap, Hevs had founded a

new sport -- jumping out of airplanes onto kelp beds and they couldn’t

wait to try it themselves.

There was a long pause, then the sport’s founder had a little

confession to make. He hadn’t really jumped from the airplane. That was a

dummy a friend had thrown out. Hevs had swum out earlier to the kelp bed

and stayed out of sight until the dummy hit. He hated to reveal his hoax,

which had succeeded so brilliantly, but he couldn’t have people jumping

out of airplanes onto kelp beds. As he told them, “If you jump out of an

airplane, you’ll either be instantly killed when you hit, or you’ll

plunge through and drown.”

So the new sport died, but Hevs remained a fixture of the surfing

world until his death a few years ago.

* ROBERT GARDNER is a Corona del Mar resident and a former judge. His

column runs Tuesdays.