Check It Out

While Mother’s Day can be a time for sentimental reflection and

celebration, it also can unleash emotions that surround one of life’s

most complex relationships. Writers, medical professionals and

psychologists provide help for sorting out such sentiments in new books

on library shelves.

For new mothers, Kate Figes surveys the difficult, exhilarating and

traumatic feelings childbirth can unleash in “Life After Birth: What Even

Your Friends Won’t Tell You About Motherhood.” Using interviews,

statistics, historical data and personal experience, she describes dozens

of physical and emotional changes parenthood often instigates and offers

reassurance a big sister might provide.

University of New Hampshire psychologist and postpartum depression

expert Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett presents additional suggestions for

dealing with conflicting feelings following the birth of a child in “The

Hidden Feelings of Motherhood.” For any new parent experiencing anger,

powerlessness and loss of intimacy with a partner, this is an empathetic,

informed and constructive book.

Mothers of teenage girls face other challenges, often involving facing

menopause while guiding a daughter through the volatile passage of

puberty. Nancy Snyderman, ABC News’ medical correspondent, and writer Peg

Streep survey this territory in “Girl in the Mirror: Mothers and

Daughters in the Years of Adolescence.” Blending personal experiences

with current research, the two provide a wealth of insight to help

mothers fine tune their relationships with their daughters while

simultaneously dealing with the changes of midlife.

Focusing on the same converging passages, family therapist Nina

Shandler shares perspectives of mothers coping with “the paradoxical

challenge to love daughters and let go of them” in “Ophelia’s Mom.” The

book is a follow-up to daughter Sara Shandler’s “Ophelia Speaks,” a 1999

collection of teenage girls’ essays about their lives. “Ophelia’s Mom”

includes commentary about drugs, divorce, dating, sex, depression, eating

disorders and other issues mothers of teenage girls frequently face.

Noted author and mother Susan Cheever, daughter of the great American

writer John Cheever, reflects on many similar issues in “As Good As I

Could Be: A Memoir About Raising Wonderful Children in an Imperfect

World.” While it’s not a how-to manual per se, much can be learned from

Cheever’s experience of raising a daughter, 18, and a son, 11, through

the trials of divorce, blended families, eating disorders and alcoholism.

When they become mothers, all women give their children the gift of

life. In the best of worlds, they also bestow such blessings as strength,

compassion, hope and joy. Maintaining that such gifts are every child’s

birthright, Charlene Costanzo offers an inspiring message of hope for

parents and children of all ages in “The Twelve Gifts of Birth” -- a fine

read-aloud for Mother’s Day and everyday.

* CHECK IT OUT is written by the staff of the Newport Beach Public

Library. This week’s column is by Melissa Adams, in collaboration with

Debbie Walker. All titles may be reserved from home or office computers

by accessing the catalog at www.newportbeachlibrary.org.