Easing the hot temper of summer

One of the problems with summer heat is that it increases the

irritation quotient exponentially. Matters that can be written off in

other seasons as normal human aberrations, greed or stupidity cling

to the brain in summer like a sweat-soaked shirt.

In an admittedly selfish effort at therapy, I would like to try to

purge some of these irritations, both large and small. So, in no

particular order of importance, we have:

* Using God to make political points. The rush by public

officials to demonize the judges who found “under God” in the Pledge

of Allegiance unconstitutional is breathtaking. These pols know a

motherhood issue when it’s tossed to them, and they have stampeded to

turn it to political advantage. In case you missed it, our Rep. Dana

Rohrabacher led the charge on the floor of the House of

Representatives by calling the ruling part of an “aggressive,

atheistic agenda by the liberal left to cut God out of the soul of

our country.”

I was around when this phrase was put into the pledge in 1954, and

it took place when communism was normally prefaced by “godless” and

everyone who didn’t subscribe to the excesses of Joe McCarthy was

suspect. Reaction to this belated look at the addition of “under God”

to the pledge -- written in 1892 by a socialist named Francis Bellamy

-- has nothing to do with one’s belief in God. It does have to do

with a judicial interpretation of the separation of church and state,

and the feeling there are a lot more pressing matters than the

current political breast-thumping for God.

* Gov. Gray Davis’ overkill. He reminds me of Richard Nixon going

up against George McGovern. Davis has amassed enough money to put

Enron back in business but keeps piling it up compulsively against a

candidate so clumsy, vulnerable and speechless that I almost feel

sorry for rational Republicans who have had to watch the governor’s

office handed to the Democrats by the right wing of their party --

and learned nothing visible in the process.

* The Adelphia connection. Because it’s the only cable game in

town and the only way I can follow an exciting baseball season

properly, I send an excessive amount of money each month to Adelphia.

Last week, I found out that a large chunk of it was going illegally

into the pocket of the company founder to sustain a lifestyle

somewhat at odds with his constant preachments about family values.

So is Adelphia’s current weighing of adding adult entertainment to

its menu. The founder is now in jail, which eases my irritation

considerably, but I’m still sending money to his company.

* Airline seats so close together that my knees are under my chin

when the person in front of me reclines his seat. And then being

tapped five bucks for earphones to watch a bad movie in the hope that

it may help me forget how uncomfortable I am.

* Outrageous concession prices in our local movie theaters.

Paying 14 bucks for a bag of popcorn and a soft drink for a couple of

kids is piracy. So is subjecting us to commercials on the screen --

not previews, commercials. After we pay inflated ticket prices, we

are force-fed a string of product commercials that we can’t fast

forward before the movie comes on. Welcome to the neighborhood, Regal

Theaters. You should be a real boon to video stores.

* Irvine residents who fly out of John Wayne Airport. When I’m

especially uncomfortably hot, it cools me down a bit to imagine a new

security line at the airport in which home addresses are checked and

all Irvine residents are sent to LAX. By OCTA buses.

* Sex education double-speak. Sex education in our public schools

has always been optional. But opponents who talk glibly about every

family having the right to deal with such matters in their own way

would deny that right in the next breath to parents who consider sex

education in our schools highly desirable.

* Supporters of the visiting team -- especially the Red Sox,

Yankees and Dodgers -- drowning out the locals at Angel games. Disney

finally has it figured out. If you put a competitive team on the

field, the crowds will come. And they have. But in cool California,

the home team has to duke it out in the stands, as well as on the

field.

* The upcoming election. I just got a letter asking for money to

support the reelection of Max Cleland, U.S. senator from Georgia.

Sen. Cleland lost both legs and an arm in Vietnam. His opponent -- a

congressman named Saxby Chambliss who avoided service in Vietnam and

is supported by loads of Republican money and the personal services

of Karl Rove and Ralph Reed -- just put out a press release accusing

Cleland of “breaking his oath to protect and defend the Constitution”

because of a vote he cast in which he was joined by 55 other

senators, including 11 Republicans.

I’ve seen the same tactics employed by political gunslingers here,

and I dread when the brochures start to show up in my mailbox. The

most pernicious are the slate mailers, a confidence game in which

candidates buy their way onto a card that identifies them with

popular issues and candidates with whom they may or may not agree.

Then, of course, there’s the biggest stupidity of all: the

possibility of a baseball strike by intransigent owners and greedy

players who may well alienate even devout followers like me forever.

But by that time, there will be a hint of fall in the air and

irritation with human frailty will go down along with the

temperature. I’m ready.

* JOSEPH N. BELL is a resident of Santa Ana Heights. His column

appears Thursdays.