‘XXX’ short on plot, long on action

Once in a while, Hollywood comes up with what should be a great

idea. I imagine the “pitch” meeting for “XXX” resulted in much

self-congratulatory backslapping as the producers and studio

executives pronounced themselves marketing geniuses and true

visionaries. Their simple plan consisted of ripping off the proven

James Bond formula right down to “M” and “Q” substitutes, adding a

muscular, shaved head action figure look alike (Vin Diesel), an

insane villain bent on world domination, lots of explosions and chase

sequences and a grinding heavy metal soundtrack. Surely this potent

combination would produce a guaranteed instant blockbuster.

The only problem is, I almost completely covered all of the plot

elements in the above paragraph. From this germ of an idea, the

barest skeleton of a script was fashioned. Given the film’s target

demographic (teenagers), the ratio of explosions to dialogue and the

recent success of the last Vin Diesel vehicle, “The Fast and the

Furious,” I expect “XXX” to be one of the most commercially

successful films of the summer despite it’s glaring shortcomings.

Diesel plays Xander Cage, a world-famous extreme sports athlete

and daredevil. The “M” character in is Gibbons, a National Security

Agency spymaster with a scarred face played by Samuel L. Jackson.

After a videotaped very public stunt involving a stolen Corvette,

Gibbons recruits Cage for deep cover work as an alternative to some

serious jail time.

Shot on location in Prague, the scenery is one of the most

enjoyable aspects of “XXX.” Diesel has great screen presence and

genuine star power. As in “The Fast and the Furious,” he competently

delivers throwaway one-liners, glowers menacingly and displays his

impressive physique to good advantage. Unfortunately, the limp

dialogue and derivative plot does not require him to do much else.

Jackson delivers his usual solid performance.

The plot seems to exist only to string together the many stunts

and special effects. However, even for this genre, many of the stunts

are humanly impossible and are obviously computer-generated. The

villain’s secret weapon, which is prominently featured in the film as

well as the trailers, is embarrassingly cheap looking and actually

laughable.

Even the venerable James Bond series has produced the occasional

clunker along with some real gems. The end of “XXX” makes it fairly

obvious this is the first of a series. Hopefully, the producers will

cut a couple of special effects next time and spend some of the

budget on a serviceable script.

* VAN NOVACK, 48, is the director of institutional research at

Cal State Long Beach.

‘Spy Kids’ succeeds with less heart

When the first “Spy Kids” came out last year, I finally dragged

myself to see it on the strength of several trusted recommendations.

I was delighted to discover it was a spirited adventure film that

genuinely captured the boundless imagination of children.

Director Robert Rodriguez was clearly still on daily speaking

terms with his inner child (which was a pleasant surprise coming from

the man who created the ultra-violent “Desperado,” also starring

Banderas). Plus, “Spy Kids” had a beating heart at it’s core, which

made for some touching moments that caught the viewer off guard.

Enter “Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams,” a fairly

melodramatic title for a film that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

This time out, Rodriguez assaults the viewer with more kids, more

action, more gadgets and less heart.

Spy siblings Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara) find

themselves competing with another brother/sister duo for the choice

assignment within their agency -- and the new kids on the block don’t

play fair. I could go into more story details, but they’re really too

numerous to list.

“Spy Kids 2” is a roller coaster of a movie that whips around at

breakneck speed. The problem is, it never gives you time to breath.

This second installment definitely lives up to the standard of its

predecessor: it’s fun. However, “Spy Kids 2” is loaded with so many

characters, action sequences and story lines that it often becomes

dizzying. I think you have to be under 12 to think this fast. Bearing

that in mind, there is little doubt it will please its core audience,

but one of the charms of the first film was how it offered

sophisticated adult humor to keep parental minds occupied.

There are a lot of big names here who turn in great performances:

Steve Buscemi, Ricardo Montalban and Bill Paxton, but each of them

suffers from not having enough screen time to work the full

potentials of their gifts. Blink and you miss them. Even Antonio

Banderas and Carla Gugino are reduced to extended cameos despite the

fact their names are above the title. The kids are definitely the

stars, but I wish the parents were more present. I felt like a

latch-key viewer.

“Spy Kids 2” lacks a heart at the center of its story. Whereas

last time Carmen and Juni

were learning about their parent’s secret life while

rescuing them, this narrative is more perfunctory, an excuse to

get them from A to B. Near the end, Rodriguez tries to inject some

meaning into the proceedings, but if feels forced and unearned.

Vega and Sabara deserve special kudos for being such a pleasure to

watch. Their energy keeps things interesting in a movie that too

often forgets to keep it simple, and ultimately, tries too hard.

* ALLEN MacDONALD, 29, is currently working toward his master’s

degree in screenwriting from the American Film Institute in Los

Angeles.

‘Blood Work’ just doesn’t work

In many ways it is refreshing in today’s cinematic world of

special effects and animated reality to see a film made the old

fashioned way.

Clint Eastwood directs, produces and stars in “Blood Work,” a tale

of a serial killer’s obsession with playing cat and mouse. Eastwood

plays a retired FBI profiler, Terry McCaleb, who needs a heart

transplant and receives a donor heart from a woman who was murdered

in a convenience store. He finds out about the homicide because the

victim’s sister, played by the always capable Wanda De Jesus, seeks

out McCaleb two months after his operation and wants him to find her

sister’s killer.

Unfortunately, the film fails as a whodunit since the real killer

will probably be apparent to you early on. It also fails as a

character study, since the screenwriter, Brian Helgeland, utilizes

cliche plot devices and poor dialogue. Helgeland really could have

done a much better job of adapting the book by Michael Connelly.

Lastly, the film also fails as an action/romance.

McCaleb agrees to search for the killer and attempts to show his

age by displaying vulnerability at various times, but Eastwood’s

vanity wins out as not one, but three women (Anjelica Huston as

McCaleb’s Cardiologist; Tina Lifford as McCaleb’s police

collaborator, Detective Jaye Winston; Wanda De Jesus) show an

interest in McCaleb as more than just a father figure.

In fact the sight of 72 year-old Eastwood in a forced romantic

scene with De Jesus’s character seems almost incestuous, as she

lustfully kisses his scarred chest, within which her sister’s heart

beats.

The action sequences consist of McCaleb shooting guns and missing

and Eastwood’s stunt double running twice as fast and strong as

Eastwood. The story becomes convoluted toward the end when obvious

opportunities to capture and incapacitate the killer are not seized.

Although Paul Rodriguez is intended to be annoying as a

competitive cop, he is more annoying due to his Hispanic caricature

and blustery delivery. Jeff Daniels is amusing, and later shows depth

as McCaleb’s “dumb and dumber” partner. As the credits rolled, and my

wife sitting next to me panned the film, I began to wonder why I

liked it. While it was not suspenseful and the pacing was

improvisational at times, I still came away from the film satisfied

that McCaleb got the bad guy, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Mainly, I think it was a nostalgic feeling that here is the guy

responsible for “Dirty Harry” still doing it at 72. I guess it’s a

“guy thing.”

* RAY BUFFER, 32, is a professional singer, actor and voice-over

artist.