Facing the memory of tragedy

Cheryl Procaccini

The terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon

almost a year ago and the deaths that resulted have had a profound

impact on the hearts and minds of most Americans.

As we approach the year anniversary of Sept. 11, we will probably

find ourselves surrounded by reminders of this tragic loss. Such

reminders may include memorial services and media coverage as well as

our own emotions and memories. We will most likely experience a

collective and personal remembering of what occurred.

As was true one year ago, each of us will respond to this

anniversary time in our own way. Some may feel an upsurge of grief as

if we are experiencing the loss all over again. For others, feelings

may be more subtle, such as a dull sadness or an irritability that

doesn’t seem to be related to anything in particular. Or perhaps

there will be little feeling at all or even a desire to avoid

remembering. Some of us may be revisited by feelings of anxiety and

fears that normally occur after one’s sense of national security and

personal safety have been threatened. Perhaps we will feel empathy,

grief and compassion for the loved ones of those who died. And don’t

be surprised if you find yourself reminded of your own past losses or

traumas and feeling the emotions connected to them.

All of the above responses are normal. What is most important is

that you acknowledge and accept your feelings, express them if you

need to and be especially patient and gentle with yourself. What

happened on Sept. 11 and the war-related losses that have followed

are a lot for the human mind and heart to experience. This may once

again be a time to turn to loved ones for support, comfort and

quality time together. And if it is important to you, you may want to

find your own way to stop and remember those who died on Sept. 11,

2001. Attending to our own grief if it arises, feeling our feelings

and finding healthy ways to honor this anniversary time will once

again give us the strength to live our lives with the compassion and

mindfulness so needed by our families, friends, co-workers,

communities and world.

* CHERYL PROCACCINI is a Laguna Beach resident and the director

of bereavement services at St. Joseph Health System Hospice in

Orange. She is also a psychotherapist in private practice in Orange

County. She can be reached at (949) 497-8531