The distraction of baseball

I’m sorry. I’m trying. But it’s just not happening. Every week, I

try to bring you a quality product -- something witty, something

current, something topical. Wait. Current and topical mean the same

thing. See? This isn’t working.

Here’s the problem. In October, I have trouble concentrating on

anything but baseball, under the best of circumstances. But at a time

like this -- with the Angels having worked the Yankees over like a

speed bag and that “rally monkey” jumping up and down like he’s been

force-fed double shots at Starbucks -- it’s impossible. And now, my

post-season is done. Finished. No mas. Kaput. So if I’m a little

distracted and tense and testy -- sue me. Pay attention. This’ll go

fast and then I’m going to go lie down.

Are we done with the ficus trees? Is there anything -- a word, a

syllable -- that hasn’t been said yet? How about this: let’s set up a

Web site called www.andfurthermore.com. Once you log in, you can

click on “Ficus Trees,” “Flights From Long Beach” or “Animals,” which

will take you to “Ducks on Grand Canal” or “Dog Who Can’t Walk on

Beach.”

What is the problem with the 405 southbound between Harbor and the

55? Not the whole thing, mind you, just the two right lanes. Can

anyone explain that? If you can, call me. Actually, don’t. I don’t

want to talk to anyone right now.

And what is the hubbub with the Costa Mesa City Attorney’s office?

I don’t get it.

A 64-year old Newport Beach woman, who has smoked since she was 17

and has terminal lung cancer, sued Philip Morris for concealing the

addictive power of nicotine and manipulating the amount of it in

their cigarettes to keep her addicted. On Friday, a jury in L.A.

awarded her $28 billion and yes, that’s with a “b.” As to whether his

client bears any responsibility for 47 years of smoking, the woman’s

attorney said she was “...partially responsible for her fate, because

she believed their lies.”

Do you ever read the “corrections” columns? I do. I read that and

the obituaries every day. Actually, I just scan the obituaries to see

if anyone was in their mid-50s. If not, I feel better. But the

corrections columns are great. I think so anyway. Ours is called “For

the Record.”

Here’s one from Oct. 2: “In a Sept. 29 story, ‘Back on the

market,’ Gloria McCormack was mistakenly identified as having lost

her job from Elizabeth Arden. McCormack quit the cosmetics company

after her husband was transferred out of her home state of Texas.”

Oh, OK.

From the L.A. Times: “In an article in Monday’s Southern

California Living ... the name Abdul was incorrectly translated as

‘son of.’ The correct translation is ‘servant of.’” See? Good to

know. From the L.A. Times, Oct. 3: “Marlin Simmons, a junior at Long

Beach Poly High, is 15 years old. His age was incorrect in a Sports

story Wednesday.” Oh, sorry, Marlin.

L.A. Times, Oct. 4: “A Sept. 16 story in Section A stated that the

northern part of Iraq is not predominantly populated by Muslims of

the Sunni sect. In fact, the area is a stronghold for Kurds, who are

mostly Sunni Muslim but not Arab.” Yeah, like I care. The rally

monkey is going bonkers, Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte got shelled,

Mike Mussina is on the disabled list with a groin pull and if I need

more on which Sunni sect in northern Iraq is where, I’ll get back to

you, OK?

The strange saga of Newport Beach lawyer Hugh “Randy” McDonald

ended this week in a mistrial. McDonald was accused of murdering the

wife of one of his clients in 1997, but prosecutors were never able

to come up with any physical evidence leading to McDonald. What

shifted the case from the sordid to the surreal, though, was that a

few days after the murder, McDonald allegedly staged his own death as

a suicide from the Golden Gate bridge, even leaving behind his watch,

his business card and a recorded “suicide note” on tape for his

family. McDonald spent the next four years in hiding, not at the

bottom of San Francisco Bay, but in Utah.

Lobster season opened on Wednesday, I don’t want to refinance, and

yes I know about the $1.99 Charles Shaw wine at Trader Joe’s.

Anything else? Good. Don’t talk to me until next week. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached via e-mail at PtrB4@aol.com.