Sleepers of the world unite

Getting into college, especially certain colleges, can be

competitive. This we all know, including our high schoolers.

That’s why it’s not a bad idea that the University of California

system is going to randomly check admission applications to make sure

that honesty is everyone’s best policy.

Here are a couple tips for the UC fact checkers:

* If a prospective student boasts to have a 7.0, you may want to

second-guess it. They more than likely think you’re asking what

America Online program they’re using. In that case, you may want to

reject them. They’re not smart to read directions.

* This may not necessarily be a lie, but if a would-be college

learner looks forward to double-majoring in underwater basket weaving

and sleeping, question their aspirations. They may not show up to too

many classes. Of course, they still may be worth accepting since

they’ll shell out tuition while leaving an empty desk for another

student. That’s just smart planning.

Well, there you have it. Now you’ve dissuaded lying, which will

help the students become better people in the long run. And who

knows? Maybe some professional sleepers will make this world a better

place.