Sharing about Aunt Betty

“Life’s a voyage that’s homeward bound.”

-- HERMAN MELVILLE

Last week, I wrote about our trip to Wisconsin for my Aunt Betty’s

funeral. One of the many profound things that hit me was her legacy.

As I read the burial liturgy for her, I was deeply touched by the

powerful resemblance among the family physically, spiritually and

practically. Today, I have the privilege of sharing what her

grandchildren wrote. The following was titled, “Yes Grandmother,

Dear, Dear, Dear.”

“This was my answer -- this was the answer for all 10 of us. The

phrase was so simple, yet respectfully instilled the behavior fitting

of her grandchildren. And that was her: respectful, unpretentious,

devoted and generous.

“Our grandmother had a simple yet elegant wisdom that quietly

demanded attention. She always asked a specific question at the end

of every conversation with one of us -- ‘Do you like what you are

doing?’ This was painfully simple and equally difficult to answer.

This question caused a re-evaluation of what we were doing in our

lives, and taught us to truly enjoy ourselves along the way.

“An extremely generous woman, our grandmother taught us the

importance of giving of oneself. Grandmother’s unconditional giving

was done because it was the right thing to do. This willingness to

support many educational and religious causes showed us the impact of

goodwill and the selfless nature that procured it.

“At mealtimes, we sang the doxology and held hands. The importance

of family was always the forefront (except the kids sat in another

room -- but we didn’t mind, they were talking about big-people

stuff). After meals, the adults would talk and we would play pool or

run outside or just play games.

“When any of us would walk into the room her eyes would light up

like Christmas, and her smile was enough to make the Cheshire Cat

jealous. The looks that grandmother gave spoke volumes without a

word, and her patient ears thrilled to hear of our most recent

adventures. If there was something we did that she didn’t approve of,

she would make her opinion known most emphatically, without the

slightest care of effect. She was our most captive audience, our most

trusted confidante, our most devoted advisor, our most honest critic

and our most beloved of treasures.

“I am sure we all have far too many memories to share here,

although I am positive that collectively our stories will continue

throughout our own lives and those of our children. She lived an

incredible life that most of us wouldn’t believe if we hadn’t known

better. The mark she left upon this world, and the infinite lives she

touched, will remain her greatest legacy.

“Her great-granddaughter Emily Pluhar said it best: ‘At first, I

was sad when I heard -- I really loved her and I was glad I was able

to get to know her. I think God wanted her in heaven with Him and

Jesus. God went down to her when she was sleeping and told her it was

time to go to heaven. I know that she will be happy in heaven so I am

not sad anymore.’”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. And you can quote me on

that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON speaks frequently to parenting groups.

She may be reached via e-mail at cindy@onthegrow.com or through the

mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505, Newport Beach, CA 92658.