‘Twas the night before Christmas

Ben and I grew up with very different holiday traditions. His

family made Christmas Eve the big event. My family saved everything

for Christmas Day. His family had homemade everything. My family knew

where to buy it.

After we got married it was like the clash of the Titans trying to

keep everyone happy. So in a bold move, we chucked everything and

started fresh with our growing clan. I like to think that we kept the

best of both worlds and made it our world.

When we made our break with tradition, we had the chance to look

around and see what worked (or didn’t) for other families. We morphed

as the kids grew and tried to blaze new trails for them to keep when

they grow up ... or not. We’ve been realistic in our expectations.

Everyone used to love getting in their jammies on Christmas Eve

and cruising for lights. The younger ones still like the show, the

older kids phase in and out between being cool and admitting they

still enjoy seeing the fruits of the neighbor’s labor. I suspect that

they do their own cruising and just don’t tell me.

We make cookies and set them out for Santa. Mary Rose heads this

activity. We’ve made it all the way through to her fourth grade. I am

grateful for the lengthy duration. We no longer make magic reindeer

food, but friends with younger children do and share the enchantment

with us.

Santa still remembers to stop by our house, although he has gotten

a little sassy as the kids have grown older. Last year he sent them

on a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood. The clues included

significant events in each child’s life. As they ran up and down the

street, they had to depend on a sharp memory and one another to get

to the next clue. The bonus was that they found out a little

something special about their siblings they might not have known

before.

Christmas Eve allows only one present opened. Presents from

friends can be opened as given and family gifts are all exchanged in

birth order, one by one.

Christmas dinner comes from a great-grandparent’s recipe.

Christmas breakfast is one of the grandmother’s specialties.

The tree is all mine. Both sets of grandparents did a lackluster

job (in my opinion) with the tree. On energetic years, we set up two

trees. One in the family room with all of the elementary school

ornaments and homemade lovies; one in the living room that gets the

fancy treatment with my sterling ornament collection, drippy

crystals, and gold and silver beads. The kids say they don’t like

“my” tree. I don’t believe them because they complain in the years I

don’t go to the trouble to set it up.

Photo Christmas cards are probably my favorite part of the season.

I remember when I was growing up that I thought it was weird when we

got a card from someone I didn’t know. Now my Christmas card list is

filled with people that my kids “don’t know” but are very important

to me: college friends, older relatives in faraway states and

hometown relationships.

I started to include a Christmas letter as the kids got older and

more complicated. I try not to make it a “brag rag” but a glimpse of

our year, good and bad. And by the way, I keep every photo card I

receive and put it in an album. I have some family pictures that span

20-plus years. Some families are just starting. Some families are

sending their youngest out to the wide world. The pictures are

indeed, a precious gift.

This year my family celebrates its last Christmas with exclusively

“full-time” kids. Next year I will be anxiously awaiting the oldest’s

return to celebrate “our” traditions.

Our traditions that evolve as the years pass by.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Peace on Earth from the Wight

House to yours.

* KAREN WIGHT is a Newport Beach resident. Her column runs

Sundays.