Things to be thankful for this Christmas

It’s almost here. How did this happen? I have no idea.

Thanksgiving was last Thursday, wasn’t it? The Angels won it all,

what, three weeks ago? Are you ready? What do you mean, “no”? You’ve

got two days left -- 48 hours, 2,800 minutes, 168,000 seconds. In the

time it took you to read all that, you could have bought 0.75 gifts,

built at least one layer of the seven layer cookies, trimmed

two-thirds of a branch. Time is running out, fast.

You think you’re ready, but in your heart, you know you’re not.

Not to worry. Stress management is a skill, especially at the

holidays, and I am a trained professional. You should have come to me

sooner, but we can work through this together.

First of all, you’re not alone. Lots of people get really stressed

over the holidays. Just remember this: No matter how much pressure

you feel now, it’ll get much worse before it’s over.

Gift giving. Don’t let it get you down. People fret way too much

about what to get for whom, do they need it and, of course, will they

like it. No worries. It’s a simple phrase, you’ve heard it a thousand

times, but it’s true: “It isn’t the gift that counts. It’s the

price.” People will say they love whatever you give them, but they

will love it even more if it costs a bundle. Make an exact

gift-giving budget and stick to it, unless you have credit cards.

Christmas is a time to be thankful and count your blessings. You

know what Eskimos do for Christmas? The entire village gathers on

Christmas Day and prepares a communal meal of whale meat, caribou,

seal, owl, duck, polar bear and walrus. See? You can thank your lucky

stars you’re not an Eskimo.

Christmas is a time for families to come together in love and

respect, and to put those petty differences aside. Yes, her cousin

drives you crazy and you have to force yourself to say three civil

words to his brother, but Christmas makes all that better. Remember,

the holidays aren’t about being with people you like. They’re about

being with your family.

You know what they do in Denmark? The Danish equivalent of

Christmas elves are mischievous pixies that live in the attic and

walls. To keep the pixies from playing nasty tricks, you leave them

bowls of rice pudding -- their favorite food -- in the atticS. See?

Something else to be thankful for. If you were Danish, you’d have to

deal with her cousin and the pixies in the attic who are taunting you

and gulping down rice pudding.

Christmas dinner. Very important. Personally, I vote against

turkey, especially in a year like this, with just over three weeks

between T-Day and C-Day. And while we’re on the subject, answer me

this: why do we only cook the big chubby bird twice a year?

It’s like pfeffernuesse cookies. I like them, not everybody does,

no big deal. But where is it written that no one can manufacture or

eat pfeffernuesse cookies except for the exact number of days between

Thanksgiving and Christmas? Who decides these things? I’d love to

know.

Did you know Oliver Cromwell banned Christmas carols in England

between 1649 and 1660? Not a lot of people do. Cromwell said

Christmas should be a somber occasion and that singing carols was

frivolous and disrespectful.

If you haven’t been to the Newport Harbor Christmas Boat Parade,

get on it. It’s over tonight. Do people really throw vegetables at

boats they don’t like? I’ve seen two stories about that this year,

but I’ve never seen it in action. I assume we’re talking about small

vegetables, or at least soft ones, but even that sounds pretty

un-Christmas-y to me. Is that really necessary? I think not.

Actually, most people seem to be nicer at Christmastime, which is

a good thing. Not everybody, but most people.

What about mistletoe and the whole kissing-underneath-it thing? A

number of ancient cultures, like the Druids, saw mistletoe as a

symbol of peace and friendship. At feasts and celebrations, they

would hang sprigs of fresh mistletoe (never frozen) over doorways and

exchange greetings and gestures of friendship, like smooches, beneath

them. I’m sure Oliver Cromwell would have had a shmoo about that too,

had he been there.

So that’s it -- the keys to a merry, low-stress Christmas: be nice

to everyone you meet, especially if they’re related; don’t throw

vegetables; and remember to put some rice pudding in the attic for

the pixies. Have the best holiday ever. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached via e-mail at PtrB4@aol.com.