Traditions, new and old, to bring in the new year

SOUL FOOD

It’s about time, again, to embrace a new year.

In our household, that starts with a pot of black-eyed peas and a

ham hock or two, a pot of collard greens, a pot of rice, a pan of

cornbread and maybe some yams -- all nods to my Southern U.S. roots.

Collards are meant to draw folding money, greenback dollars, into

the new year; peas, coin, small change. Ham hocks and rice pledge

all-around prosperity. Cornbread and yams promise gold.

I don’t put stock in it -- the only gold coins I’ve seen in this

house are foil-wrapped chocolate, brought by St. Nick on Dec. 6 --

but it’s a comfortable, tasty tradition. The pots can simmer all day,

a ready meal and a plate of good luck for anyone who drops in.

I wonder what you do.

Some of our friends go out for breakfast. Others cook a big

breakfast at home for their family and friends. One family I knew

treated the day like a second Thanksgiving.

On New Year’s morning, they would gather around sausage, bacon,

eggs and waffles. While they ate, each would take a turn sharing one

special joy and one disappointment of the past year.

Then, they would offer their joys and their sorrows to God and

pray their hopes for the coming year, in the spirit of Philippians

4:6: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and

supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to

God.”

Last year at New Year’s, the seers and psychics and pundits seemed

quieter than usual to me. It seems the same this year.

Perhaps events of the past two years -- the devastation of Sept.

11, the Washington, D.C. sniper killings, the bombing deaths in Bali,

the escalating violence in the Middle East -- have left us less

willing to gaze too far ahead.

If so, maybe that’s a good thing.

It sure comes on good advice. Even Jesus said, “Do not worry about

tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to

add to the troubles each day brings.” (Matthew 6:34)

As I’ve talked to others about the resolutions they are making

this year, I’ve heard less about weight loss, money and exercise and

more about character, family and friendship:

“I want to spend more time with my kids.”

“I want to spend more time with my family and my friends.”

“I’d like to get in touch with some friends I’ve lost contact

with.”

“I like to be more patient. I want to lose my temper less.”

One woman said she would like to do less multi-tasking, to give

each thing she does her undivided attention.

I hope each one succeeds.

This year, I’d like to be more patient with others, too, and also

with myself. To that end, I’ve taken a page from St. Basil and from

St. Francis de Sales for my New Year’s resolution.

My pastor shared this bit of advice, written by St. Basil, in his

weekly e-mail, “Wisdom,” which he sends to our congregation:

“If you see your neighbor committing a sin, take care not to dwell

exclusively on his faults, but try to think of the many good things

he has done and continues to do,” St. Basil wrote. “Many times, by

examining everything he has done, you will come to the conclusion

that he is truly better than you.”

To help me be more patient with myself, I’ve added these words

from St. Francis de Sales: “Have patience with all things, but

chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in

considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying

them. Every day begin the task anew.”

Such is the grace of God. And that’s something I can put stock in.

* MICHELE MARR is a freelance writer from Huntington Beach. She

can be reached at michele@soulfoodfiles.com.