Bitter finale

Suzie Harrison

This will be his last performance in Laguna Beach, ever. It’s a

city that holds much significance in Tim Miller’s life and therefore

the internationally-acclaimed performance artist faces a sad reality.

Tonight and tomorrow Miller will perform his latest piece of work,

“Body Blows,” at Laguna Art Museum.

Based on his book “Body Blows” the performance depicts what one

goes through both good and bad both physically and emotionally. The

impact of knowing he won’t be returning to Laguna is part of what his

work is all about. “Body Blows,” his second book, is a collection of

scripts -- excerpts from his shows.

“A 20-minute section is about a date,” Miller said. “It was at

Divers Cove in Laguna Beach and it was the first time kissing a boy.”

He explained that that experience and other positive experiences,

such as a gentle touch or a light blow of a kiss, are body blows. The

range of blows range between graceful and life-giving, to big blows

on the negative side such as being physically beat up or experiencing

what he calls grotesque inequities that happen still to this day in

the U.S.

“We’re really happy to have Miller back for a second time,” said

Stu Byer, public relations director for Laguna Art Museum. “His

performance was especially well received last time. The museum plans

to do more programs like this in the future.”

Miller, a third-generation Californian, and his Australian

boyfriend of eight years Alistar McCartney are having to leave the

U.S. because of the immigration struggles they are enduring.

McCartney’s visa is about to expire -- a big body blow.

“There are less civil rights in this country than in any other

country,” Miller said. “We stand alone, we’re the only western

civilization that has no federal rights for gay couples.”

He said that some states make war on gays and lesbians pointing

out that in Florida, Utah and Texas same-sex couples can’t adopt a

child.

“I’m so committed to the indignities,” Miller said. “It’s so

important to bring these up in ‘Body Blows’.”

He said he brings up these inequities in an energetic, theatric

and playful way.

Miller has received numerous grants from the National Endowment

for the Arts. In 1990 he was awarded a solo performer fellowship,

which Miller said was overturned due to political pressure from the

White House under the first Bush administration because of the gay

themes of Miller’s work.

“I get to have an opinion, raise the issue and inform both the

people who see the show and then the media -- [reaching] thousands

more,” Miller said.

Miller said that the American heart is still closed in U.S.

politics when it comes to bigotry.

About leaving the country, Miller said he isn’t sure yet what the

impact will be because he hasn’t done it and is humble to its

enormity.

“We met in England,” Miller said. “I’ve worked and performed

there. I started performing there when I was 20. But it’s not my home

or my country.”

Miller said that because he will be having to make huge trips, so

a performance at Laguna Art Museum won’t happen because he’ll be too

far away.

“I try and remember we’re not choosing to leave my beach house, my

garden and the trees,” Miller said. “It’s forcing me to leave [my]

whole set of human rights. It crashes against my American identity.”

It’s such a violation to what it is supposed to be about, he said

of his leaving.

He said “Body Blows” is an example of being stuck in an abusive

relationship with the U.S.

“What does it take for gay people to get pissed and for straight

people to know it’s not fair,” Miller said. “The U.S. violates

European declaration of human rights on so many universal levels.”

Having his last performance in Laguna, especially in the context

of his work is upsetting. Miller grew up in Orange County.

“So much of my life took place in Orange County,” Miller said.

“And my formative experience was like a Norman Rockwell painting --

my first boyfriend, that first kiss in Laguna in September 1976. If

someone would have told me at 18 that America would be like this in

2003, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

Miller may not yet be able to determine the final impact of the

move, but he knows it is a poignant reality.

“I’m such a Californian,” Miller said “It’s my deepest identity,

quite painful All of these lasts, like taking down my Christmas tree

a couple of days ago.”

And one of his lasts he said he’ll be thinking of is that little

strip of beach not 50 yards away from the museum.

“Thinking about that at 18, how I would discover who I would be,”

Miller said. “And what a particularly long journey we have ahead of

us.”

Laguna Art Museum is at 307 Cliff Drive. Miller’s performances are

at 8 p.m. tonight and tomorrow and tickets are $15. For information,

call 494-8971.

* SUZIE HARRISON is a reporter for the Laguna Beach Coastline

Pilot. She may be reached at 494-4321 or suzie.harrison@latimes.com.