Bammer death, a painful reminder

LAGUNA LIFE

All is quiet except for the wind, which howls. It has been raining

for the past day and half. Finally, some more desperately needed

rain. Perhaps winter is beginning to awaken.

The somber weather matches the somber feeling stuck in my soul

since I heard

about the passing of Jennifer Bammer. I didn’t know her personally

but I do know the sadness that follows. The screaming. The tears. The

sleepless nights. I know it all too well and I also know that

Jennifer is the centerpiece in many people’s hearts, never to be

forgotten.

I know the search for answers. But there are no easy answers as to

why a person with so much life ahead of her passes so young. There

can’t be. Only the man upstairs may know.

I’d like to think that everything does happen for a reason, and

I’m sure that it does, but it doesn’t change the path of the pain

that is left behind.

I remember because I have walked the very path I speak of. When I

was young, one of my brother’s closest friends, Gary Tibbits, was

killed in an alcohol-related accident. He was like another big

brother to me. I cherished that guy. He used to always pin me down

and tickle me, until I would nearly pee my pants and tell me surf

stories about how good the waves were at El Moro. He was a real

happy-go-lucky type of a guy and then one day he was gone. I never

understood why? Partly because I was only in the seventh grade at the

time, and inside I had all these questions that could never be

answered.

I was so hurt that he was gone. I remember almost hating him for

leaving and I soon just pretended that he moved. I choose to remember

him by living and thinking of the memories that I have of him.

Instead of going to his memorial I went surfing, I felt closer to him

this way and I also never had to say goodbye.

It amazes me how well I remember him and how much, to this very

day, I still think of him and his smile.

My only now hope now is that Jennifer and Gary both smile when

they read this and know that our thoughts are with them.

-Peace-

* JAMES PRIBRAM is a Laguna Beach resident, professional surfer

and co-founder of “They Will Surf Again,” a nonprofit foundation

assisting people with spinal cord injuries. He was also a member of

the Water Quality Advisory Committee.