In the midst of it all

CHASING DOWN THE MUSE

In the lull between rainfalls, the hummingbird flits from branch to

branch outside my window. His ruby throat gleams even in the grayness

of the day. His wings sound the low hum that gives him his name.

Tenacious, he searches among the new leaves. At last, he hovers. He

has found something amid the leaves of the Brazilian pepper --

something to sustain him.

How like this intrepid hummingbird we humans are. In the midst of

the gray shadow of threat -- of war, of terrorist attack, of economic

downturn, of biological warfare, of disease -- we go on with our

lives. We marry. We give birth. We go to work. We go shopping. We

vacation. We eat and drink. We laugh and we cry. We celebrate lives

and mourn losses. We dream and we plan. Seeking for something to

sustain us, we go on.

For some, sustenance is found in religion. Others find it in

friends, in work done well, in art. Some find sustenance in protest.

Some do not. For some people, it sustains to make plans for the

future -- a new home, a vacation trip, a new job, new baby. Exploring

the mysteries of life and learning new things while honoring the old,

we go on. Whether with a soft hum, like the humming- bird, or a noisy

flapping of wings, we go on.

2003 has seemed to rush headlong through winter and on into

spring. Against a shadowy backdrop, what we call “normal” life has

gone on. The fallow time of winter is behind us. Springtime, with its

perennial new possibilities is upon us. As I look out the window

again, a pair of quite ordinary mockingbirds dive at a black crow.

The crow is struggling to free bits of dead branches from the top of

an elderberry tree. Nest-building is afoot in this bird sanctuary

most of us call home and natural life continues to go on.

One of the greatest sources of strength for me can be found in a

sense of wonder at the world around me in all its’ glories. This

wonder is an indefatigable antidote against boredom and

disenchantment. Walking in this world or sitting cross-legged,

sketching the myriad things I can see, a near constant sense of

wonder sustains me. The world of my senses provides avenues of

delight and discovery upon which to travel.

As I chase after my own personal muse, to go where my heart is,

the marvelous world of sight, sound, smell, taste, and hearing brings

me exquisite pleasure and some sense of perspective. Sustenance for

me is found in time spent in nature, with friends and with family. To

drink in the rich fragrance of orange blossoms as I walk the rich,

red earth of my grandparents’ orchard transports me. The sounds of

thunder and wind and waves breaking on shore are a wondrous music to

my ears. Birdsong at dawn or the sound of rain on the roof are an

orchestral magnificence.

A hike in the canyons that lie beyond nearby beaches leaves me

feeling the pleasant heat of exertion, of the well-used muscles

called forth. The iridescent shimmer of slug slime or the white wing

of a gull caught in sunlight; the graceful drape of lilac wisteria on

a leaning fence or brown towhees rustling in tall green grass at the

side of the road; fountains of white spray rocket toward the sky as

pounding waves strike the shore -- the sight of these fills up my

heart with a rush of emotions.

It is in the midst of such splendors that I can continue to enjoy

every new experience, each new discovery in the world around me. It

is in the midst of such splendors that I feel sustained. Rachel

Carson said that there is “something infinitely healing in the

repeated refrains of nature -- the assurance that dawn comes after

night, and spring after the winter.” Whatever comes, we will somehow

go on. We will continue to celebrate and honor life. Tenacious like

the hummingbird, we will continue to seek something to sustain us.

* CHERRIL DOTY is a creative living coach, writer, artist and

walker who lives and works in Laguna Beach. Contact her by e-mail at

emmagine8@aol.com or by phone at 251-3993. Your comments are

appreciated.