Clouds in my heart

CHASING DOWN THE MUSE

Walking down the middle of the wet road, I am conscious of avoiding

ruts and puddles in the rain, as I search the sky for a rainbow. Deep

blues and purples, bright pinks, oranges and yellows line the road in

fields on each side -- lupine and California poppies and red clover

mixed with fiddleneck. Muddy Waters’ “Clouds in My Heart”

reverberates in my mind as I think how apt this all is. There are

clouds in my heart, as well.

I tend to walk the middle of the road -- seeing the “reason” on

all sides, seeing how each side can perceive things as they do.

Still, I am disturbed by much of what I see and hear happening in the

wake of our war on Iraq. There is a divisive, hate-filled, vitriolic

abuse being heaped on those who choose to dissent that I cannot

abide.

I read somewhere recently that “criticizing dissent is also an

expression of free speech.” OK. But need the criticism be ugly and

abusive? Name-calling, lumping all dissenters together under cruel

and irrelevant labels (most of which are unprintable here) is simply

vicious. It is also small-minded and extremely divisive.

Why do some folks feel that those with different opinions are to

be rejected outright from the human race? “If you’re not with us,

you’re against us.” How is believing that the war in Iraq was wrong

or mishandled unpatriotic and anti-American? How is believing that it

was the right thing to do stupid or blind? “With us or against us” on

either side leaves no room for contradiction. It leaves no space for

the freedoms in which we profess to believe. It does, however, give

permission for repression and oppression by those who cannot allow

for difference of opinion.

The mud-slinging and the heavy-handed power pushes to change minds

that differ (on both sides) alarm me. I find myself equally concerned

with the divisiveness I see in our own country and what shifts take

place outside it. Something wonderful began to take place in the

United States right after Sept. 11. In the midst of the horror of

what took place that day, many of us began to actually see a new kind

of hope. This was a hope born of compassion. Where did that go? What

has happened to the rebirth of idealism and the belief in what this

country professes to stand for that began to unify us with all of

humanity?

If our soldiers were fighting for freedom for Iraqis, what about

cultivating the same freedom here at home? What about espousing a

patriotism that asks our country to live up to its ideals, rather

than blindly supporting each and every governmental decision? Isn’t

this what we would want for our democratic country as well as for the

entire world?

Of course, criticism is a consequence of any disagreement with the

majority. Not buying or supporting the products of a dissenter is a

consequence. But hatred and vilification? No, that is just too much!

We have to respect the right to dissent as one of our fundamental

freedoms.

Imposing our own beliefs on others is not freedom. When President

Bush said that terrorists “hate our freedoms: our freedom of

religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and

disagree with each other,” I cannot believe that he meant us to

become like the terrorists themselves. Walter Lippman said that, in a

democracy, “the opposition is not only tolerated as constitutional,

but must be maintained because it is indispensable.” We must hold on

to the rights of those who disagree. We must agree to disagree. We

must listen and learn from the criticism, no matter what. If we don’t

listen to the criticism, if we don’t allow for it, we face the

possibility of becoming our own worst enemy. What is happening to our

own humanity? Where is respect? What of compassion? Are these things

to be lost in the spewing of vitriol?

I call upon all of us who believe in this country and the freedoms

upon which it is based to step forward in the defense of our right to

dissent. I urge everyone who believes in diversity and hopes for the

best from democracy to speak your beliefs and to listen to other

voices and opinions ... really listen. I ask all of you to defend

each other against hatred and divisiveness.

There are clouds in my heart and I am sorrowed by what I see, but

I will continue my search for the rainbow.

* CHERRIL DOTY is a creative living coach, writer, artist, and

walker who lives and works in Laguna Beach. Contact her by e-mail at

emmagine8@aol.com or by phone at 251-3993. Your comments are

appreciated.