‘Hollywood Homicide’ a fun poke at the scene
“Hollywood Homicide” is an action comedy directed by Ron Shelton
(“Bull Durham,” “White Men Can’t Jump”), written by Robert Souza &
Ron Shelton and stars Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett (“Pearl
Harbor”).
The story: Veteran detective Joe Gavilan (Ford), a weary but
tenacious cop at the top of his game professionally, sees his
sideline profession as a realtor is rapidly unraveling while his
partner, K.C. Calden (Hartnett) appears to allow his extracurricular
work as a yoga teacher and aspiring actor take priority over the
high-profile gangland-style murder they are currently investigating.
The film also includes an eclectic supporting cast of Lena Olin,
Bruce Greenwood, Isaiah Washington, Lolita Davidovich, Keith David,
Master P, Lou Diamond Phillips, Dwight Yoakam, Frank Sinatra, Jr.,
Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight, Robert Wagner, Eric Idle and Martin
Landau.
Bottom line: The film was better than I expected. Although most
critics have panned the movie, it actually has sequel potential
despite the unimpressive performance by Hartnett, and his character’s
forced back story/subplot involving the death of his father. Although
this is not standard fare for Ford, there are many delightful moments
such as witnessing Ricardo Brown, rapper KURUPT, in a paddle boat
chase scene, or Ford commandeering a girl’s pink bicycle during a
police chase, or Ford and Olin in a seductive fantasy scene with Ford
sporting mirrored glasses while eating a doughnut and saying witty
things like: “Just let me take my Ginkgo Biloba so I can remember
where I put my Viagra.”
The film’s script takes liberal jabs at the media, and lampoons
the Hollywood lifestyle; the film and recording industries as well as
the profession of “acting.” The film plays like a cross between “48
Hours” and “Cannonball Run,” but despite it’s far fetched and
contrived plot, I left smiling, and you may to. It’s worth the price
of admission to go and find out.
* RAY BUFFER, 33, is a professional singer, actor and voice-over
artist.
‘Italian Job’ better than predecessor
When I heard Hollywood had decided to remake the 1969 film “The
Italian Job,” I was a bit surprised. After all, the original film
starring Michael Caine was a largely forgettable caper comedy most
noted for its incredible car chase featuring Mini Coopers jumping
from roof to roof in Turin, Italy.
The 2003 version of “The Italian Job” is not a remake per se. The
lead characters share the same name, some of the action takes place
in Italy, and the famous Mini Coopers still figure prominently, but
this is an entirely new film otherwise. The association with the 1969
effort is somewhat misleading and probably of no benefit since the
target audience never saw the original film. Nonetheless, the new
version of “The Italian Job” stands on its own merits as a highly
entertaining action-packed caper film.
Mark Wahlberg stars as Charlie Croker, the mastermind of an
assemblage of criminal specialists. The film opens in beautifully
scenic Venice as the crew prepares to steal $35 million in gold bars
from a heavily guarded palazzo. To pull off this nearly impossible
heist, Charlie has employed the talents of a veteran safecracker
(Donald Sutherland), a computer genius (Seth Green), an explosives
expert (Mos Def), a high-tech second story man (Edward Norton) and
the best getaway driver available (Jason Statham).
In spectacular fashion, the robbery goes precisely as planned.
Rendezvousing in the Swiss Alps to split the loot, Charlie is
double-crossed by one of his own men who leaves the rest of the crew
for dead. It takes nearly a year for the stolen gold bars to surface
in Los Angeles and give Charlie a chance to avenge the betrayal. What
follows is a heist even more elaborate than the Venice escapade
utilizing a new safecracker (Charlize Theron), and of course, those
fabulous Mini Coopers.
A few performances stand out. Wahlberg is solid as the intensely
loyal criminal mastermind. Seth Green is hysterical as the computer
geek who insists on being called “The Napster” since he claims to
have written the music-downloading program that was subsequently
stolen while he slept by his college roommate. Mos Def, nicknamed
Left Ear due to his partial deafness resulting from a childhood
incident with firecrackers, is also quite funny as the somewhat shaky
explosives expert with a pronounced aversion to dogs. Statham, best
known to American audiences for his starring role in “The
Transporter,” again exhibits his considerable screen presence with a
sense of humor not seen in previous roles. Finally Norton, as he
showed in “The Score,” can play a two-faced weasel as well as anyone.
“The Italian Job” is a clever and well-done film and probably the
smartest action movie in current release. Like nearly all action
films, some sequences are beyond rational belief, but the intricate
planning and meshing of the various criminal specialties are fun to
watch. “The Italian Job” is two hours of pure entertainment with
exotic locales, good performances, and plenty of action, so go enjoy
without the guilt.
* VAN NOVACK, 48, is the director of institutional research at Cal
State Long Beach.
‘Wrong Turn’ is predictable
If horror movies have taught us anything, it’s never to leave the
main road when driving anywhere. When you venture out on your own,
you’ll probably encounter some terrible fate that’s worse than death.
People who stray from the flock are fodder for satanic cults needing
a human sacrifice, Chuck Conners and his deadly roadside attractions
and monstrous paper mache creatures from a prehistoric era.
“Wrong Turn” is yet another reminder of the consequences of
camping in locations that are not certified by KOA. Once again we
learn that people who just pitch a tent anywhere they please are
asking to be killed by inbred cannibals.
Normally I try to avoid writing any sort of spoilers into the
description of a movie. “Wrong Turn” is so incredibly bad that
there’s absolutely nothing to spoil. This movie reaches its peak
during the opening credits and then rapidly deteriorates. This is an
R- rated movie targeted toward pre-teens. For the most part it’s all
very sanitized, and the filmmakers could probably have gone for a PG
rating by editing some of the language out of the script.
In a remote part of the Appalachian Mountains, on dirt a road
between Raleigh, NC, and Greenville, SC, some deformed West Virginia
Mountain men stalk, kill and eat people. All of their victims look
like they belong in Old Navy TV commercials. Unfortunately the main
characters lack the complexity of the people in Old Navy ads, so I
found myself cheering for the mountain men to kill all of them. Too
bad Morgan Fairchild wasn’t with them.
On the surface, “Wrong Turn” is just an awful movie with
absolutely no redeeming qualities. When you reach beyond the surface,
however, “Wrong Turn” takes some interesting chances artistically.
For example, in most movies, it’s important for the camera to be
focused properly. “Wrong Turn” refuses to be constrained by this
rule. Sweeping overhead shots of the dense forest, combined with
carefully composed landscape views, are all painfully blurry. These
subtle visual cues underscore the story’s subtext. It’s easy to blur
the thin line that separates fashion models from inbred mutants.
Some movies are obviously made to go straight to video. “Wrong
Turn” seems made to go straight to the TV show “Mystery Science
Theater 3000,” so that all of the flaws can appropriately mocked.
I’ve checked several maps, and I still can’t find the part of West
Virginia that extends between the Carolinas. Putting this and other
amazingly stupid geographical errors aside, the movie still left me
with some big unanswered questions. Do breast implants really enable
a woman’s body to absorb the shock of falling off the side of a
cliff? When does plastic surgery make a person less appetizing to
cannibals? Should anyone expect to find a telephone in an area
without electrical or telephone wires? There are high school students
who can write better scripts than this one. When one of the
characters finds jars of pickled human remains and says, “I think we
need to get out of here,” I swear I heard the entire theater let out
a collective “duh!”
If you have the itch to go see this movie, don’t. You’re better
off renting either the original “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or “The
Hills Have Eyes.” “Hills” is one of my favorites because one of the
villains looks just like the lead singer for the band Midnight Oil.
“Wrong Turn” isn’t worth seeing as a rental unless you love truly bad
movies. This movie is so bad that Ed Wood would be proud.
* JIM ERWIN, 40, is a technical writer and computer trainer.
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