One big irrelevant night

In an Irrelevant Week Lowsman Trophy banquet for the ages -- one in

which Martha Burke would be extremely happy because women were

allowed for the first time, ending a 27-year run of stag parties --

Mr. Irrelevant XXVIII Ryan Hoag, a small-college wide receiver, made

a big impression in front of the Heisman Trophy winner and a sellout

crowd of 1,200 at the Anaheim Marriott.

Oh, sure, Irrelevant Week founder Paul Salata fired off his usual

jokes and former USC quarterback and 2002 Heisman winner Carson

Palmer shared the spotlight with Mr. Irrelevant. But poor Hoag. He

shows up for Irrelevant Week XXVIII amid June’s first week of

sunshine while wearing the world’s biggest smile, then realizes right

away this is not Raider country.

“I guess most people around here don’t like the Raiders,” Hoag

said Thursday night, prior to the headline event of Irrelevant Week,

the annual Lowsman Trophy banquet that honors Mr. Irrelevant, who is

presented a bronze sculpture that depicts a football player dropping

a ball.

Hoag, you see, had no idea that Orange Countians, especially in

these parts, aren’t exactly the welcoming wagon for the silver and

black.

But Hoag, selected No. 262 by the Oakland Raiders and the absolute

dead-last pick in the NFL draft, has handled the ill-Raider feelings

well this week, like everything else.

Hoag, the former football and track and field standout at Gustavus

Adolphus College in St. Peter, Minn., is a real pro and even put the

celebrated Palmer in his place late in the banquet and, well, telling

the truth.

“I know [the banquet] is usually reserved for the Irrelevant Week

honoree. Thanks for taking the spotlight tonight,” Hoag said to

Palmer at the podium. “Just remember. There’s a reason why the

Cincinnati Bengals chose first and the Raiders picked last.”

Palmer, the first same-season Heisman winner to appear at the

Irrelevant Week Lowsman Trophy banquet, gave plenty of thanks in

receiving the 2003 Sportsman of the Year award, but added that enough

is enough. In other words, no more awards, please. “That’s enough.

Stop it,” Palmer said, in reference to the number of postseason

honors he has collected since leading USC to its victory over Iowa in

the 2003 Orange Bowl as the Trojans finished the season 11-2 and

ranked No. 4 in the nation.

Later at the banquet podium, after Palmer and Hoag had received

gifts, including a replica of each others’ college jersey, Palmer

asked Hoag to autograph it. “Right back at you,” Hoag said to Palmer.

The Lowsman Trophy night was considered the largest Irrelevant

Week banquet crowd in history inside the mammoth ballroom. The

banquet is usually held at the Newport Beach Marriott, but Salata &

Co. needed a bigger place to play this year in the Heisman meets

Lowsman buildup.

Despite how some locals might feel about the Raiders, Hoag can’t

wait to get his shot at making the Oakland roster and maybe working

his way into a starting role in the future. He also returns kickoffs

and punts. He said it’s a great situation to be in with future Hall

of Famers Jerry Rice and Tim Brown to help groom him.

Hoag, 6-foot-2, 200 pounds, played only one year of high school

football and that was as a JV quarterback. He grew up in Minneapolis,

then spent one year at Wake Forest as a walk-on soccer player. He

returned to his roots and enrolled at Gustavus Adolphus, where he was

an All-Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference performer three

times.

The Minneapolis native played tennis, basketball and soccer in

high school, before going to Wake Forest.