‘Charlie’s Angels’ don’t fly

“Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” is not so much a movie, but rather

a very long music video. Loud and completely brainless, the movie

emphasizes eye-candy and the soundtrack.

Charlie’s Angels -- Natalie (Cameron Diaz), Dylan (Drew Barrymore)

and Alex (Lucy Liu) -- are called on to assist the U.S. government in

“Full Throttle.” Two titanium rings have been stolen. The rings

contain the new identities of every person in the Federal Witness

Protection Program, and must be recovered before the information is

sold to various organized crime families.

The Angels fight a variety of foes, including Demi Moore as a

former Angel (no spoiler here, the trailers and commercials gave that

away). There are a few funny moments and cute bits scattered

throughout, but not enough to save the overall film. Sadly, most of

the humor is just flat and forced.

The actors seem to have had more fun making the film than the

audience has actually watching it. The action scenes are mostly

boring and not very well constructed. The film relies very heavily on

putting all the actresses in provocative costumes, hoping that is all

that will be needed to pull in an audience. It is also packed full of

cameo appearances and references to other films, but only a few of

them are effective.

“Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” is entirely without substance.

That would be forgivable if it were light and enjoyable, but it is

too clunky and artless to work even as mindless entertainment.

* TRICIA BEHLE lives in Newport Beach and works as a software

validator.

’28 Days Later’ combines thrills, chills

An unusual and frightening film, “28 Days Later” is a blend of

science fiction and thriller, with apocalyptic visions and horror

overtones that come straight from today’s headlines.

The story opens in England with a team of animal rights activists

breaking into a research lab to free helpless monkeys subjected to

cruel genetic experiments. Unknown to them, the liberated chimps are

infected with a new disease that quickly mutates to humans. It

becomes an unstoppable “rage virus” that turns its victims into

mindless ravaging demons.

Cut to four weeks later: Jim, a young man who has been in a coma

all this time, awakes to an eerie and empty London. We follow him as

he explores what’s left of British civilization and tries to

understand what has happened to the entire human population. Bit by

bit, we get scraps of old newspaper headlines and other clues that

reveal the lightning spread of the Rage.

In a sudden and shocking scene, we learn that the horrendous

symptoms of bloody epileptic spasms, choking screams and murderous

rampage begin to manifest within 30 seconds of being infected. The

only “cure” is to kill the victims immediately, or they instantly

attack and kill any living thing within sight. One way or another,

the infection’s only outcome is death.

Obviously, this premise leads to some very gruesome and bloody

scenes. But “Trainspotting” director Danny Boyle offers a lot of

reflective quiet and genuine suspense between the episodes of loud

stylistic violence.

A ghostly silence pervades this film with hardly any music on the

soundtrack. And rare for this genre, Boyle explores human nature in

some depth through his central characters. Jim hooks up with a

handful of other survivors led by Selena, a stunning young black

woman who becomes the leader and savior of their small band before

and after they are rescued by a rogue army unit that also survived

the plague.

The intriguing beginning and middle portions of this strange tale

eventually morph into a more conventional ending. But be warned: With

equal parts of “The Shining,” “Alien” and “Night of the Living Dead,”

this movie is definitely not for the squeamish or faint of heart. But

if hard-hitting sci-fi horror thrillers are your cup of tea, this one

has a twist of lemon in it for you.

* JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator

for the Orange County public defender’s office.