A cautionary tale

There are several cautionary tales to be found in the tragedy that

now surrounds former Newport Beach recreation worker Trenton Veches,

who was found guilty earlier this month of 23 counts of felony lewd

act with a child and two misdemeanor counts of sexual assault. He

faces life in prison and is not eligible for parole for 15 years.

The first is that it is difficult to be too careful with one’s

children. No one could guess what Veches, who by most accounts was

well liked by the children he worked with, would do. He was known to

be a hard-worker whose playfulness around children -- including

piggy-back rides and the infamous sucking of toes -- did not arouse

suspicion among his fellow workers. He seemed like someone parents

and the city could trust. But it turns out that trust was

unwarranted, that it was given out too freely. For there apparently

was another side to Veches, and that is where the second cautionary

tale begins. With Veches. With a man who seems to have liked children

and wanted to help them, but who made decisions and did things that

will cost him years of his life.

During his trial, Veches’ attorney argued that Veches’ acts were

not sexually motivated, just “weird and quirky.” But it is a fact --

one that likely says something profound about our society -- that the

lines of propriety and professionalism are drawn more precisely than

in years past. As parents have to be careful with their children, so

too do adults have to be careful of their actions.

Were Veches’ actions sexually motivated? A jury decided yes. But

even apart from that verdict, his actions crossed lines that cannot

be crossed today. Recreation workers can’t hand out candy. They can’t

wrestle with their charges. And they so clearly, so obviously, can’t

suck on boys’ toes for fun or for some other, more disturbing reason.

Trenton Veches is living with the consequences of that truth. The

parents of the children who came into contact with him, especially

those photographed and inappropriately touched, are living with the

consequences of not being just a little more cautious with their

children, of finding that impossible balance between letting children

grow up and experience the world and keeping them wrapped in a

protective embrace. We all can hope that the children involved will

not live with this sad tale any longer than they must.