A rite of passage for the debutantes

When I arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel, Newport Beach, on Saturday

evening, the valet took my car, offering her warm greeting.

“Hello Mr. Cook, nice to see you again,” she said. “Will we be

seeing coverage of the Debutante Ball in the paper on Thursday?”

On the way to the event, I had been questioning the validity and

importance of covering a debutante ball. Does it have meaning in

modern society? After all, it is my job to cover such events. Perhaps

I was questioning my own worth? We won’t go there. Leave those

questions to Dr. Phil.

On another level I asked myself, what is the story? What will the

reader at large want to know about? The deb ball is all about a small

segment of society. What is the broader stroke? More importantly, who

cares and why do they care?

I found it interesting that the valet cared enough to ask me about

coverage upon my arrival. She is a young and attractive woman with a

winning personality. Perhaps she had made her debut and was now

working as a Four Season’s valet. There’s a story. Better yet, it’s

the basis of a premise for a new reality TV series: “After the

Debut.”

The presentation had just begun when I dashed into the ballroom.

It hit me like a falling brick wall as I watched the lovely young

ladies enter. The 2003 Medallion Debutantes representing the

Assistance League of Newport Mesa offered a remarkable “life lesson.”

So simple, so pure, so fundamental to every wonderful positive human

experience, this debutante presentation was about the moment.

In a short time, the culmination of years of volunteer work by the

girls, their mothers, friends and family would be acknowledged.

Thousands of dollars donated to causes, more spent on ball

preparations, would be evanescent in an instant. The anguish of the

event, stress over hair, makeup, flowers, the menu, seating,

entertainment, escorts and family involvement would be distant

memories in a matter of hours.

Life, like this deb ball, is made up of exceptional moments. Some

are tragic. Hopefully, most are joyous and cherished. This was such a

moment. The excitement was contagious. The 12 debutantes smiled from

ear to ear. They made their formal bow. Mothers and dads wiped away

tears. Applause filled the ballroom as the formal procession

introduced each young child to society.

The big question remains, what kind of world are these young women

entering? They have been raised in a privileged cocoon. How will they

affect their planet with their own ideas, dreams and plans? Will they

take what they have learned and what they have been given and

transform the benefits of privilege into action that benefits

themselves and society?

The Assistance League model is community service. The deb program

revolves around volunteerism, active participation in many endeavors

such as the Dental Center, the Assistance League Thrift Shop, and

Operation School Bell, which clothes needy kids. The girls learn that

with privilege comes responsibility. In addition, they are encouraged

to further their education. Most will attend challenging universities

in the fall.

Perhaps most importantly, this moment is about family. Not all of

the presented debs had the same last names as the father on their

arms. Deb families, without the flowing gowns and golden medallions,

are real people with real-life situations.

Despite generalizations made by outsiders, not all come from

wealth, not all live happy, unified home lives. Just like the rest of

American society, there is divorce, business tension, substance abuse

and the multitude of other challenges facing all of us today. But in

this one brief shining moment, there was joy and celebration.

Clearly, it was indeed worth the anguish, the cost, and the years of

showing up for community service on a Saturday morning or after

school.

“On a scale of one to 10, this is a nine point nine, nine event,”

said one deb, Sarah Veitch, daughter of Laurie Veitch and Christopher

and Irene Veitch. “I could not have imagined a more wonderful time.”

Like the other girls, Sarah was surrounded by family. Her

grandmother Nancy Veitch of Atherton, Calif. and her grandmother Rita

Gunkel of Dover Shores were on hand to share the moment.

Across the Four Season’s ballroom, lavishly adorned in pink

lilies, Randy and Stephanie Parole of Newport Beach watched as their

daughter Ashley made her debut, also supported by grandparents and

close friends. Karlin Meehan, daughter of Jay and Kat Meehan of

Balboa Island, was joined by her impressive crew of brothers as she

made her bow. Karlin’s grandmother beamed with pride as she danced

the first dance with her son Jay (a.k.a. Big Daddy) to the sounds of

Barry Cole and his Sounds of Music Orchestra.

Cole made the party swing with his Motown singers. Jim Dale did an

outstanding job as master of ceremonies.

One guest even wore a gown formally owned by Jaqueline Kennedy

Onassis. Assistance League party organizer/volunteer Mary Lynn

Bergman-Rallis dazzled the crowd in her strapless, floor length

pleated silk organza Valentine red gown created by Valentino for the

late First Lady. Bergman-Rallis confided that she had purchased the

gown at a charity auction some years ago and did not know the gown’s

origin until a reporter from the New York Times tracked her down to

do a story.

“All I knew is that it’s a perfect size 6, and I love the dress,”

she said.

The 2003 Medallion Debutantes of the Assistance League of Newport

Mesa are Angela Christine Anido, Cara Ann Childress, Cheryl Christina

Hall, Kelli Diane Kline, Karlin Andrea Meehan, Danielle Marie Murphy,

Ashley Kristen-Louise Parole, Anne Louise Sewell, Sarah Elizabeth

Veitch, Heather Renee Wade, Erica Katherine Widmer and Katherine

Loring Younglove.

It was a night to remember. It was an important rite of passage.

It was one special, brief moment in life. The culmination of a

thousand days of preparation to reach one shining plateau.

We strive for excellence. It may be short-lived and fleeting.

Ultimately, the reward is in the pursuit. And, if we are fortunate

enough to celebrate that pursuit, as did the Assistance League debs,

all the better.

* THE CROWD appears Thursdays and Saturdays.