‘Gentlemen,’ rather ordinary

In the late 1800s the world’s most famous fictional characters are

brought together to stop a mad man’s diabolical plot to rule the

world. Allan Quartermain (Sean Connery) from “King Solomon’s Mines”

is put in charge of the “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” The

group, however, includes one not-so-gentle woman, Mina Harker (Peta

Wilson), a vampire with one mean overbite. Each character has been

chosen for a particular talent: Dorian Gray for his years of

experience, Captain Nemo for transportation, the Invisible Man’s

ability to go undetected, and Dr. Jeykll for strength. There’s also

the young and handsome Tom Sawyer (Shane West) who is allowed along

for the ride only because he reminds Quartermain of his son who

recently died.

A large portion of the film is invested in introducing the

over-populated ensemble cast and showing off their unique

capabilities. Additional time is then spent watching the characters

argue and fight between themselves as they sail toward Venice, Italy.

That’s where the League suspects the power-hungry villain is planning

another attack. Once, the League arrives in Venice, however, an

unexpected turn of events makes saving the world from the brink of

destruction almost impossible.

“League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” has a rushed quality to the

finished film. For example, there’s a scene showing Nemo’s submarine,

the Nautilus, speeding through the ocean. But when the camera comes

in for a close up of the characters on deck, the Nautilus is no

longer cruising at top speed, but just sort of sitting in the water.

No one’s hair is blowing in the wind. There’s not a trace of sea

spray in their faces. However, continuity really isn’t the point of

“League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” it’s the explosive action and

bloody swordplay the characters keep running into.

Connery is the film’s greatest strength. But like the retired

character he plays in the film, who always complains about “being too

old to be doing this,” “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” lacks the

energy or the strength to compete in the league of this summer’s

blockbuster movies.

* PEGGY J. ROGERS, 40, produces commercial videos and

documentaries.

‘English’ sometimes hard to understand

Rowan Atkinson, the sprightly, impish physical comedian whose

outrageous pratfalls and subversively childish humor have made him a

star in hilarious classics ranging from the cult U.K. series “Black

Adder” to the worldwide hit “Bean,” is back on the big screen in

“Johnny English.”

When her majesty’s crown jewels are stolen by a deceptive

Frenchman (John Malkovich), who also plans to steal the queen’s

throne, Johnny English (Atkinson), a bit “green” but eager to be of

service, is thrown onto the case. Thrust into a world of fast cars,

high-tech gadgets and top secret information, Johnny is incredulous.

He may be in over his head, but his courage and dedication are

unmatched -- especially after he meets double agent Lorna Campbell

(Natalie Imbruglia) and discovers that falling in love makes saving

the nation even more exciting.

If you are a fan of Atkinson’s other work you will want to give

this film a peak. It is not as derivative as the motion picture

“Bean” was, and so it does provide it’s audience with new pratfalls

and bits.

Unfortunately there is a disconnect between what is intended as

action/drama and what is intended as comedy.

Director, Peter Howitt (“Antitrust,” “Sliding Doors”) creates a

film with no true outstanding moments. The set-ups and laughs will

appeal mostly to children who chuckle easier than jaded adults.

Screenwriters Neal Purvis and Robert Wade (both of whom have

experience writing “James Bond” flicks) and William Davies create a

script that is technically sound. The problem is that none of them

have recent experience writing parody, much less, comedy, they simply

rely on the expertise of Atkinson to fill the voids left by the

script. The mismatch results in a plot no one cares about, a romance

angle no one comprehends, and a goal with no ambition.

On the bright side, “English” is 10 times better than Dana

Carvey’s foray into this genre, “Master of Disguise.” But that isn’t

necessarily saying much. If you really need a Rowan Atkinson fix,

then see it in theaters at your leisure, otherwise, you can probably

wait until Christmas or so and catch it on video.

* RAY BUFFER, 33, is a professional singer, actor and voice-over

artist.