He knows all and still loves us

“God loved us before we loved, or could love, him. God’s love for us

rendered possible and actual our love of God. Hence the most

fundamental need, duty, honor and happiness of man is not petition,

nor even contrition, nor again even thanksgiving, these three kinds

of prayer, which indeed, must never disappear out of our spiritual

lives, but adoration.”

-- FRIEDRICH VON HUGEL

Sometimes it seems like I hear God clearly, but there are also

stretches when I can’t hear him at all. There are different reasons

for this, but basically I am the problem.

Often, I ask God for guidance in a decision, but I hope for a

specific answer. If I’m only waiting to hear God answer in one

particular way, I often only sense static. Occasionally, I think of

marching ahead and doing things my way, but I feel such a lack of

peace inside that I stop and start all over. These times can be

humbling, but the sooner I take the focus off of me and onto him, the

quicker inner peace returns.

When I start to love and adore God for who he is, the static

subsides and answers may come. I’ve also noticed that there are

occasions when I am so busy talking at God, that there isn’t a free

moment in my soul to hear from him.

It helps when I apologize to God for thinking I know what is best

for me. Sometimes one confession leads to another, and the cobwebs of

my heart get cleared. Then, if I think to thank God for what he has

done in my life, my priorities change, and my problems lessen.

A few weeks ago, I was preparing to drive with our daughter Amy to

Northern California. I listed all I needed to do before leaving, but

had a nagging feeling that I had missed something. I sat on a couch

and tried to listen to God or write in a journal, but I was so

preoccupied with details that I couldn’t focus. I closed my eyes, but

couldn’t shut off my mind.

Then I lay down on the couch, and said, “I’m sorry God, I’ve

rushed everywhere but to you. I am awed by all you’ve done for me and

I do adore You.”

I sensed God say, “Cindy, slow down. Everything you think must be

finished before your trip, does not have to be. I love you.”

I stayed motionless for awhile, then peacefully looked at my list

again. I crossed several things off and then felt like I needed to

have my tires checked. The service station was busy, and I nearly

left, but a nice man came and checked. The first three were fine, but

the fourth was almost flat and had a large nail in it. He patched the

tire and checked my spare, too.

I thanked the mechanic and thanked God. I don’t know if I would

have thought of that without pausing with God, but I know I wouldn’t

have had that inner peace. When I think of all that God has done in

my life, how could I do anything but adore him? The most amazing

thing of all is that God knows everything about my life, and he still

seems to love and adore me.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at

cindy@onthegrow.com or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.