What it takes to be a hero

STEVE SMITH

You’ve probably never heard of Terry Ringer. Three weeks ago, Ringer,

49, jumped into a reservoir in Nederland, Colo., to try to rescue his

6-year-old grandson, who had fallen in the water while fishing.

Ringer accomplished his goal, pushing the boy to safety in the

50-degree water. Then he succumbed to the cold and drowned.

I don’t know Terry Ringer. I read this story online and was

intrigued not only by his heroics but by the disconnect I had while

staring at his picture. In the photo, Ringer was overweight. His hair

was long and unkempt, same as his beard. In the photo, Ringer

appeared to be resting his arms over the handlebars of a large

motorcycle.

Terry Ringer did not fit my physical description of a hero. Had I

seen his picture without the headline, I would have assumed that

Ringer was wanted for a crime. Even after I read the story, I thought

there was a possibility that the online service had made a mistake,

that this man can’t be a hero. But that was Terry Ringer, and he is a

hero.

After reading his story, I though for a long time about my own

preconceptions of people and whether I am telegraphing any of this to

my kids.

I also thought long and hard about my definition of a hero.

I judged Terry Ringer before I knew anything about him. I’ve

believed for a long time that, contrary to popular protocol, it is OK

to judge. I do believe that it is the lack of judgment that has

caused the lines of decency and civility to blur to the point where

many people thought it just fine -- even exciting -- to show three

grown women French kissing on an awards show on television the other

night. I’ve read many words about how much this pushed the envelope

but not one about how disgusting it was or how shameful.

No judging, no pain. Yet, these three women are role models --

heroes -- to many pre-teen and teenage girls.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, a hero to many kids even before he

announced his candidacy for governor, is being judged for some words

he spoke in an interview 26 years ago. In the interview, he talked

about his drug use and his participation in group sex, both of which

he now denies and says instead that he made it up to promote a movie.

Twenty-six years is a long time, plenty of time to realize that

being young and stupid is no way to live an entire life. Twenty-six

years is, to me, plenty of time to get a pass on past behavior.

Schwarzenegger is not the kind of hero I’d want my kids to honor.

Although I have to give the guy much credit for coming to this

country and making the most of this great land of opportunity

(something most American-born folks take entirely for granted),

making recent movies with so much violence and then talking up gun

control is, to me, as close to being hypocritical as one can get.

One of his opponents, Cruz Bustamante, is also speaking with a

forked tongue. While passing himself as the reformed alternative to

Gray Davis, he is busy accepting boatloads of cash from the same

people who had their way with Davis. It should be noted that

Schwarzenegger recently returned a check for $2,500 from a

law-enforcement union.

Dennis Rodman continues to be a hero to many locals, despite or

perhaps because of his outrageous behavior, including his recent

arrest after cops spotted him falling down drunk in Newport Beach.

Some hero.

Kobe Bryant is still a hero to many, also despite or because of

his admitted infidelity.

So, how complete does a hero have to be? Is it necessary to live

an entirely clean life to qualify as a hero? Does a hero have to wear

sheets, walk barefoot and live on bread and water? And how long does

a hero’s past life have to haunt him before it’s no longer a deciding

factor?

Important questions for our kids, to be sure. Perhaps even more

important for adults, because it’s likely that the folks they honor

will also be honored by their kids.

We’ve got heroes all around us every day, people who aren’t

scoring touchdowns, making movies or running for office. Some wear

uniforms and help put out fires, some help save people from heart

attacks, and some help put the bad guys in jail. Some also teach our

kids.

One of my latest heroes just died rescuing a little boy.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(949) 642-6086.