Soda (pop) better left out of schools

PETER BUFFA

Coke or Pepsi? Regular or diet? Is it soda ... pop ... or soda pop?

And what does any of this have to do with Gray Davis and the recall?

So many questions, so little time. Pay attention, this is

complicated.

There was yet another stunning announcement from Sacramento this

week, as Gov. Davis promised that he would sign legislation

restricting soda sales at schools. You could have knocked me over

with a feather, except for the fact that most school districts

already do that, including Newport-Mesa Unified, which cut down on

the carbonates in 1997. Connecting the dots with the recall is easy.

This is the point where the pol in peril does anything and everything

in his or her power to curry favor with anyone who is even thinking

of voting on the recall.

In the last two weeks alone the Gray-man has signed legislation

allowing illegal immigrants to get driver’s licenses, protecting kids

from soda damage and, just yesterday, granting the equivalent of

marital rights and benefits to gay and lesbian partners. OK, maybe

there aren’t that many gay or lesbian illegal immigrant couples with

chubby kids out there, but in a race like this, you have to cover all

the bases.

Personally, the soda issue is what really interests me. Yes, soda

is not good for you. No argument there.

Nutritionists and dentists have a great nickname for it -- liquid

candy. But it is so darn pervasive. It all started with the cola

called coca, 117 years ago. In May 1886, a former Confederate officer

and Atlanta druggist named John Pemberton concocted a sweet syrup

that included extracts of coca leaves and kola nuts.

Pemberton billed it as a “brain and nerve tonic” and dispensed it

in little shot glasses. By the way, the coca leaves accounted for

traces of cocaine in the mixture, which were eliminated early on, but

led to a boatload of urban myths over the years.

The drink was originally dubbed “Koka-Cola,” but Pemberton’s

bookkeeper, Frank Robinson, suggested changing it to “Coca-Cola,”

which looked a lot better in ads.

Fast-forward 12 years, to New Bern, N.C. In 1898, a pharmacist

named Caleb Bradham developed his own sweet syrup drink, which he

billed as a “health tonic and digestive aid.” Bradham called his

drink “Pepsi-Cola,” which began the incredible cola war, which rages

to this day.

There are two questions that define all people living on the earth

at any given moment: dogs or cats? and Coke or Pepsi? No matter your

age, race, gender or social status, sooner or later, you will have to

answer those two questions. Do you like dogs or cats? Do you like

Coke or Pepsi?

You must choose one or the other. There is no middle ground. And

don’t try to wimp out with Sprite or 7UP or I like all animals.

You must answer, in a loud and steady voice. If you are a Coke

person, you can barely get a mouthful of Pepsi down. If you are a

Pepsi person, you’d rather drink a tumbler of warm prune juice than

take a sip of Coke.

Then there is the soda, pop, or soda pop paradox. If you say soda

you probably live and/or grew up in an urban area. If you say pop,

you are probably from the South or the Midwest. Soda pop is a

generational thing. If you say soda pop, you probably know who Pola

Negri is.

For me, it’s soda, dogs and Coke.

Actually, saying I am a Coke person is a cop-out. I am an addict.

There, I said it. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop. Keep the booze

and the drugs, just leave me the Diet Coke and back away. I switched

to diet about 20 years ago to ease the guilt, but I have guzzled a

good deal more Coca-Cola than water in my lifetime.

Do you remember the little green glass bottles of Coke? By the

time I was four, I could down one of those in one 20-second gulp with

my eyes closed, smile, then unleash a burp that could rattle windows.

The other kids liked to stand around and watch me, and I’d get a lot

of oohs and aahs with the burp. It was the first time I realized that

I was somebody and that I had value as a person.

But that was then and this is now. I say two thumbs up to the

schools for trying to stem the tide of carbonation. Whether or not

they practice what we preach, kids today have a lot better handle on

what is the good stuff and what isn’t.

Sharon Moore, a dietician for the Newport-Mesa Unified School

District, says their students understand the pop problem quite well,

thank you. According to Moore, “We had kids asking us, ‘If it’s not

good for us, why are you selling it?’” Still and all, it won’t be

easy to turn back 100 years of momentum, to say nothing of a constant

barrage of rock stars, actors and athletes singing the praises of

Pepsi and Coke.

It’s a little late for those of us who grew up believing that

Hostess Twinkies belonged in the cereal and grain group.

Then again, I was totally convinced that if you went in the water

right after you ate, you’d drown instantly, and I’m still here. Some

things change. Some things don’t. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.