Fielding a call from Arnold

LOLITA HARPER

Hold onto your seats. You won’t believe who called this week.

The following is the transcription from a message left on my

voicemail at 9:36 p.m. Monday, from a man with a thick, thick accent.

“Lolita, this is Arnold calling to let you know to vote for me in

Oct. 7,” the voice said. “I have been pumping my muscles to maximum

pumptitude to get ready for the Mr. California governor’s cup,

gubernatorial ‘pose down’ in Sacramento. Yah, I am going to win

because Gov. Gray Davis is a girly-man and Cruz Bustamante is flabby.

Yah, don’t believe everything you read about me in the newspaper just

vote for me. Yah, listen to me now and believe me later, ‘No new

taxes.’ Thank you for voting for Arnold.”

I almost dropped out of my chair, I couldn’t believe it. He was

actually calling me. I had to verify the call so, I dialed the number

in our source list.

“May I please speak with Arnold,” I asked.

“This is Allan here, who are you looking for?”

“Nice message, Allan, I know it was you, or should I say,

Arrrrnold,” I said.

“What, he personally called you? How did he get your number?”

He denied it for awhile, playing the innocent role, but Costa Mesa

Councilman Allan Mansoor couldn’t fool me and finally admitted his

little prank call.

“I just had this funny thought and I thought, ‘I am going to call

Lolita,’” Mansoor said.

Yeah, I know, a call from the Terminator himself might be more

believable than a prank call from a city official. Especially from

Mansoor -- the Orange County Sheriff’s Deputy known for his

just-the-facts-ma’am attitude on the dais. But he is funny. I mean,

really, really funny.

The call was forwarded around the news room and various reporters

chuckled. Newport Beach reporter June Casagrande, who is not very

familiar with the Costa Mesa politicians, said, “Hey, whoever left

that message was good. That was really, really good.”

Public Safety reporter Deepa Bharath, who recently wrote the Hands

that Heal series, said: “That was Allan Mansoor? you’re kidding.”

And nobody was as shocked as Costa Mesa reporter Deirdre Newman,

who only gets to speak to Mansoor about city business, and, as a

result, is not privy to his humor.

“No, way, that was not Allan Mansoor,” she said. “How come he

can’t be that funny when I ask him for quotes? Next time I talk to

him, I am going to ask for Arnold.”

Mansoor knows he comes off as kind of, well, stiff, but insists

that is just when there is business at hand.

“Everybody thinks I am this serious guy, they don’t think I have

this funny side but I do,” Mansoor said.

I have probably seen or heard it more than anyone, as I have heard

him cracking jokes to his law enforcement buddies during phone

interviews. Also, the reason I knew it was him is because he has

pulled the old Hans and Frans accent on me before. Now, it’s even

more comedic because Schwarzenegger is actually the front-runner.

Mansoor’s comedic relief got my Tuesday off to a great start,

something the councilman was pleased to hear.

“It’s good to lighten up the day,” he said.

And when we hung up, he said, “Have fun.”

Same to you Arrrrnold. Remember that when you are up on that dais

until 2 a.m. talking about the effects of shadows on flowers.

* LOLITA HARPER writes columns Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and

covers culture and the arts. She may be reached at (949) 574-4275 or

by e-mail at lolita.harper@latimes.com.