Bullying as a rite of passage is not right

I cringed when I read Steve Smith’s column about “Bullying no,

teasing go ahead.” Smith reminisced about the “good ol’ days” when he

was in school and bragged how he survived the jeers of his peers.

As an educator for 20 years, I would like to inform Smith that

times have changed. Now we have violent video games that simulate the

destruction of the “enemy.” When Smith was growing up, he and others

could imagine in their head many revenge scenarios to get back at

your taunter. Today, there are weapons readily available to our youth

so they can stop anyone that ridicules or humiliates them.

Smith obviously has not read the documentation on “threat

assessment,” done by the Secret Service, that studies teenagers who

have brought weapons to school to stop the tormenting inflicted on

them by their peers. Teenage shooters were interviewed in this study,

and the common thread with the majority of these killers was that

they were bullied and teased at school. Bullying is not limited to

physical violence. The everyday humiliation of “put downs” and

name-calling is oftentimes worse in the eyes of the victim than what

anyone could ever physically do to them.

Though you may think teasing is a “rite of passage” at school and

it assists the process of becoming “resilient,” that is not always

the case. Most kids are resilient. Some kids, even though they have

been abused in the worse of circumstances, are able to survive. But

there also exist those children, for whatever reason, that are picked

on daily because the more powerful of their peers perceive a weakness

and an opportunity for “one-ups-manship.” Every day is a torture for

these students. They are humiliated constantly and the butts of many

jokes. Their peers condone this type of behavior because they are

relieved that they are not being picked on. The destiny of these

tormented kids rests in the hands of fate. Some of them have good

friends that protect them, or teachers that intervene or parents that

advocate for them to stop the daily torture.

But what happens to those kids that are too embarrassed to tell

their parents or ask for help? What do they do? They endure it as

long as they can and hope it goes away. A few of them can no longer

bear it. Smith, what do you suppose happens to them? If Smith

actually studied the effects of “constant teasing,” he would know

that these students are the ones you read about that have committed

suicide, or brought weapons to school to stop the harassment. Some

kids you may not read about because they can’t bear school anymore

and merely drop out.

I am confused about Smith’s logic. He talks about character

education and values. Putting down somebody else and teasing will

probably never go away, but it certainly is nothing to brag about or

encourage. Shame on you, Steve Smith.

CYNDIE BORCOMAN

Newport Beach