Time to review resolution accomplishments

CATHARINE COOPER

Could the days be more beautiful? Dawns break in violet pinks that

open to warm afternoons. Evenings slide into play with brilliant

reds, yellows and deep purple. Even the moon has taken up the act,

dragging a golden shadow across the sea’s surface.

December opens her arms as the last month of the year and I am

lost to the 11 preceding. As always, I am stunned at how quickly the

calendar pages turn, and wonder why the “to do” list grows in greater

proportion than the time I have allotted to tasks.

One of the items to make an appearance this time of year is a

review of the resolutions I made on the first of January. How have

they played in my micro and macro existence? What have I discovered

or uncovered? What is left to learn?

On the heels of 2002’s resolution to embrace obstacles and

challenges, 2003’s call to patience and understanding had appeared,

at first, to be a dream assignment. I mean, what’s so hard about

patience? Except -- if you are a high energy component like me --

everything. And understanding? Well, without patience this is one

hard nut to crack.

The pursuit of understanding can only occur by relinquishing

preconceived ideas and judgments. This was an expected course of

action, but more difficult in implementation than in conception. As

the sum of my experiences, I am informed by my early caretakers, and

driven by peer pressures and friends to formulate a life course of

actions. Much of what I hold to be true may be, in fact, simply

environmental programming.

Personal tastes in clothing, housing style and politics are

components of my self-definition. I have years invested in my

judgments and to suspend them, to allow myself to open my mind to

another belief system, for even a moment, requires serious diligence.

But how else can I really claim to understand another person? How

really, can I say I have an open mind? How can I be instrumental in

healing wounds on the planet without embracing that which is

different from myself?

Patience, in her own way, has required rigorous attention. On the

heels of exploring the foundation of understanding, I have been

forced to seek not the quick fix, to jump not at my first conclusion,

but to allow each moment the power and weight of its predecessor. I

have had to learn to forgo my belief in the right course of action,

so that the rhythm of others may be explored. I have had to learn to

breath more slowly and, in some instances, to take smaller steps.

This attribute continues to challenge my hurry-up sense of life.

A morning kayak on Newport’s Back Bay provides the perfect

opportunity to slow down and reflect on both resolutions. Brilliant

sunlight shines warm on my face and not a ripple of wind marks the

surface. The bay is mirror-like with a plethora of sea birds. The

stillness is unbroken except for their chatter and the occasional

launch of aviation from the adjacent airport.

I find myself drifting in estuarine grasses, binoculars in hand,

surrounded by sandpipers, dowitchers and terns. Lazily, I turn off

the to-do list and float, mesmerized by their chirping, feeding and

bathing rituals. Time stops. When I “wake up,” my fellow kayakers are

halfway down the bay. But rather than hurry after them, I stay with

the Great Egret, poised in search of breakfast. I linger until he

springs from coil to the capture of a fish. I gift myself with to

match his patience.

Paddling once again, the resident osprey lifts from his channel

perch, spreading massive wings as he scans the bay for food.

Understanding the cause and effect of agricultural poisoning, led to

the DDT ban and the slow return of this gracious raptor to our

shoreline. I think, as I paddle, that maybe understanding is the key

to balance in more than our ecosystem. Maybe it is the key to balance

in our world at large.