Seeking the comfort of home

Suzie Harrison

Their Christmas list is clear and concise. It consists of one wish --

a safe place to live near Laguna Beach. Mary Foster, 72, and her

dependent son Alan Foster, 32, are hoping someone in the community

can help make their dream come true.

Alan Foster has Down syndrome and insulin-dependent diabetes --

his mental age is that of a 5- to 7-year-old. Mary Foster is his sole

caretaker, a 24-hour job. She gets some help from Alan’s doctor of 15

years, Dr. Tom Bent, the medical director at Laguna Beach Community

Clinic.

Mary Foster used to be a nurse but gave that up when Alan was

born.

“I was told his life span would be six months, and I wouldn’t

accept that,” she said.

She had to demand that she and her baby be released from the

hospital.

“I took him home, and we’ve been a team ever since,” Mary said.

“We have been alone for 30 years. I chose to be a single mom instead

of institutionalize him as was suggested. It’s been difficult, but I

wouldn’t trade my life.”

Even though that meant losing her husband, who chose not to remain

in their home with Alan requiring so much care and attention.

The Fosters met Bent in Santa Ana when he became Alan’s doctor,

and the duo has followed him wherever he has gone to receive medical

care. It is their hope to live in Laguna Beach or some place near by

to be close to the clinic.

Since August, the Fosters’ lives have crumbled into a nightmare.

They were forced to leave their Santa Ana home of 14 years because the building they rented was sold.

Mary and Alan were then invited to pay rent and live with her

oldest son in Fontana.

“They have 14 cats, some of them diseased, all loose but confined

within the house,” Mary Foster said. “They also have two Great Danes

and a Chihuahua.”

Mary, Alan, their cat, Miss Lucy Anne, and dog, Patrick, have all

been sharing a tiny bedroom.

“Alan has been insulin-dependent since he was 10 months old, and

his insulin was thrown out along with the fresh fruit he needed every

day for his diet,” Mary Foster said. “His diet is very, very strict,

as you can imagine, being on insulin.”

They can’t cook in the house because of the filth. Cleanliness is

vital to Alan.

“You can’t imagine what it’s like,” Mary Foster said.

She said they are only allowed to do laundry one day a week while

sharing the apartment with her oldest son, his wife and his wife’s

two teenagers from a previous marriage, ages 17 and 19.

“I was told before I came to Santa Ana that I could do anything I

needed to,” Mary Foster said. “But when I got there, it was not that

way. I have gotten rid of half of everything I have ever had to try

and keep peace, and it didn’t work.”

She said that after many additional antagonisms, she was told that

she had to get rid of Patrick. She said they have been trying to keep

the peace and to avoid any more confrontation, the duo stay in their

bedroom.

“While trying to explain this, I am condensing a lot of hell into

a little bit of purgatory,” Mary Foster said.

She said they have been living in a constant state of fear.

“Our life has gone to pot,” Mary Foster said. “We no longer have

freedom to participate in a social life ... the normal things you’d

do. It’s like living in total isolation, and we’re not welcome in the

house. We have to move no matter what.”

Bent’s wife, Carolyn, is helping the Fosters find a home.

“They are such amazing people -- no matter what life throws at

them, they are cheerful,” Carolyn Bent said. “Mary’s total devotion

to Alan’s quality of life is inspiring. She has devoted her life to

making sure he has a good life and has taught him to do everything.”

She described Alan Foster as being a teddy bear, so sweet and

cuddly.

“He is so wonderful, you just want to hug him,” Carolyn Bent said.

During the interview, Alan Foster was very soft-spoken and kind,

with a perpetual smile on his face, especially when he talked about

his No. 1 friend of five years -- Patrick. They have never left each

other’s side since the Fosters rescued him from being beaten by a

homeless man on the streets of Santa Ana five years ago.

“The living conditions have become both emotionally and physically

unacceptable,” Mary Foster said. “Emotionally, I am beginning to

shake. It’s so hard -- I have no idea how to express it.”

Laguna is their ideal location because of the friendliness, sense

of community and proximity to the clinic.

“Our goal is a decent home where we can have peace,” Mary Foster

said. “We want to live in a community that’s productive and

stimulating, which Laguna Beach is -- dignity and compassion

abounds.”

Their limited income provided by Social Security and state

disability makes finding a home difficult on a small budget. But they

don’t require much.

“We need one fairly large bedroom, a sitting room, a nice

kitchen,” Mary said. “Nothing fancy, but maybe a location where we

could walk to a few things.”

Their budget for rent is $800 to $1,000 a month, and they only

need one bedroom because Mary is happy to sleep on the sofa.

“We have our doggie and kitty, too,” Mary Foster said.

Carolyn Bent said that they are hoping that they can find someone

who has been a landlord awhile and doesn’t have a high mortgage to

pay, allowing a unit that is slightly below market.

“If we could find some people who could find it in the goodness of

their heart to help, maybe someone with a guest cottage or pool

house,” Carolyn Bent said.

Both seemed to be in good spirits despite all they continue to go

through. “It would be the best Christmas we’d ever had to find a

place to live in Laguna,” Mary Foster said.

To help find a place for the Fosters, call Mary at (949) 429-9916.