Sometimes, ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough

Most of the time, all it takes to redeem yourself in the eyes of

Americans is to be honest about what you’ve done and say a sincere

“I’m sorry.” That won’t help if you’ve murdered someone or if you’re

still pushing for an airport in El Toro, but if you’ve been betting

on baseball games when you weren’t supposed to, those two words would

probably go a long way.

Pete Rose is a baseball legend, not just because he successfully

hit the ball more times than any other player in history but because

he managed to disgrace himself so easily.

When asked 14 years ago whether he bet on baseball, Rose

repeatedly said no. Even though there was a pile of evidence,

including eyewitnesses, that he had been betting. Those were lies.

He repeatedly lied about betting for the next 14 years, winning a

“banned for life” designation from the league and putting himself out

of contention for a spot in the Hall of Fame. Rose may have been a

good baseball player, but he should have paid more attention to the

lessons in character and common sense, which he apparently avoided

learning all his life.

Rose is a gambling addict in heavy denial, and he doesn’t believe

he has done anything wrong. Therefore, there’s nothing to be sorry

about. To Rose, his gambling is measured not by accepted moral

standards but by the standard conduct of other high-profile people,

including Bill Clinton, Robert Downey Jr. and Winona Ryder. Rose

mentioned that other players were gambling, too, and offered that if

his were a drug or alcohol lapse, he would have gotten a slap on the

wrist instead of a lifetime ban.

There, he’s probably right. Professional athletes have been let

off the hook over and over again for breaking laws and rules. The one

athlete who comes to mind first is former Dodger pitcher Steve Howe,

who had a terrible drug problem and was given seven chances to

reform. But that’s a shabby excuse for Rose’s own bad behavior.

Rose also states now that he has both attention deficit

hyperactivity disorder and oppositional defiant behavior, whatever

that is. That’s what people of low character do. It’s never their

fault, never something they need to apologize for because, hey,

they’re just as weak as everyone else. Then they cry “victim” and

question the motives of those who point out their crimes. Even the

subtitle of his new book (please don’t buy it) is meant to evoke

sympathy.

It’s called “My Prison Without Walls.” Oh, brother.

Finally, last Wednesday, Rose offered his first public apology --

a complete one -- and even used the magic words “I’m sorry.” But then

he added, “I’m sure that I’m supposed to act all sorry or guilty now

that I’ve accepted that I’ve done something wrong, but you see, I’m

not built that way.”

Well, guess what, Rose? Americans are not built to completely

forgive people who do not show remorse or offer any acts of

contrition. So as far as this American is concerned, your ban for

life should remain.

And here’s a suggestion for you should you ever really feel sorry:

Donate the profits from your new book to either Gambler’s Anonymous

or to some impoverished Little Leagues in poor areas around the

country.

I like the second idea. Since you’ve set such a bad example for

kids, make it up to them by showing them what to do when you’ve

screwed up royally.

I’ve been thinking about Pete Rose, his ban for life and the

example he is setting because today is the first day of tryouts for

the Costa Mesa National Little League.

I’ve fooled the league muckety-mucks again this year and am

honored to be among those managing a Minor A team. This was not an

easy decision, as I told Rob Friedman when he called me to discuss a

manager’s spot.

Last season was a challenge, mostly because my son and I did not

see eye to eye on what positions he should play and when. Sometimes,

it wasn’t pretty, and as any parent who has coached their own kid

will tell you, it’s often one of the hardest jobs in parenting.

The coach’s kid gets to be yelled at more than the other players

because the coach can do it and get away with it. That is, he or she

won’t have an angry parent questioning why their player is in tears.

My son was never in tears over any of our discussions, but there is

no doubt that what was supposed to be fun often strained our

relationship.

And even though there is another side to the coach’s kid scenario

that has the kid knowing he or she can get away with a lot more than

the other players, that doesn’t excuse my own impatience with my son

from time to time. I’m the adult, and I’m supposed to know better.

And yes, I told him I was sorry.

So let’s set the record straight right now: No baseball manager or

player in the Costa Mesa National Little League has ever been accused

of betting on league games and probably never will.

So now that the air is cleared, here’s my call to action to

parents: Sign your kid up for baseball. Sign him or her up, even if

he or she doesn’t love the game. Baseball will teach them patience,

communication and teamwork. And every so often, when the game is

close and your team wins, your child will learn the importance of not

giving up.

That last lesson applies to everything in life except for

supporting an airport in El Toro. There’s still time to register.

Just call (714) 966-2655 or visit https://cmnll.org.