Finding the light at the end of a long and stressful tunnel

Becky Johnson

There was a time in my senior year when I thought that life as I knew

it was over. I was convinced that I would never have fun again and

that when I died my obituary would read, “Here lies Becky, a

dedicated college applicant who spent her life applying to college.”

During this period of time, which I affectionately call my “dark

months,” I frequently arrived at school with bags under my eyes and a

coffee in my hand, willing myself to be alert before second period

calculus began. My life was consumed with essays, short answer

questions and pages of “personal information” about my grandparents’

background.

My days turned into routines; wake up, go to school, tutor,

baby-sit or have a voice lesson, go to rehearsal, then either work on

applications or attempt to finish homework, and try to sleep.

Even though I had been working on applications for months before

their deadlines, during my winter break I spent countless hours away

from family activities in order to finish. When I finally completed

the last of my applications and clicked the “send” button on my

computer screen, I felt euphoric for the first time in weeks.

Life goes on when college applications are sent in. It took me

awhile to adjust to my new life without stress, but eventually I

embraced my free time. Only then did it dawn on me that I had not

only spent the past five months applying to college, but the past

five years, possibly longer.

The classes that I took in middle school only prepared me for the

classes that I would take in high school and the objective of my high

school course load was to take the most challenging classes so that I

would be a competitive applicant. Every report card for the past five

years has been not only a reflection of my grades, but a reflection

of my potential for acceptance to competitive schools.

Once I sent in my last application, I closed a chapter in my life.

I can now stop worrying so much about my grades, or whether or not my

extracurricular activities are good enough, because it makes no

difference anymore. I have several months until I figure out where I

have been accepted, and until I receive those fateful letters, I

can’t worry about going away to college.

Therefore, my only alternative is to embrace life as it is right

now; without stress, surrounded by friends and family, and full of

75-degree days where I can relax at the beach. To the students who

will apply after me I can only say, there is a light at the end of

the tunnel, and you too will find it.

* BECKY JOHNSON is a senior at Laguna Beach High School.