Finding the soul of wit

Flo Martin

Joe Jones said it best in his rock ‘n’ roll hit of 1960:

“You talk too much.

You worry me to death.

You talk too much.

You even worry my pet

You just talk, talk, talk, talk,

talk too much.”

I also have talked too much -- first, as a teenager in high school

and junior college Model United Nations teams; and second, as an

adult coach for high school speech and debate and mock trial teams.

For six months in 1984, I was on the jury for the trial of Tony

Protopappas, a UCLA-trained dentist charged with murder. We heard

excellent lawyers and excellent witnesses talk too much. So, please

consider me an expert on talking, OK?

This Wednesday night, at the candidates’ forum at La Quinta High

School -- showcasing those running for 68th and 69th Assembly

districts -- one of the six men on the stage talked way too much.

Boy, was he a slick schmoozer, spouting big sound bites about his

organization’s big plans. Even the moderator of the forum was amused.

My speech students learned that it’s not what you say, but how you

say it that counts. They learned that only 16% of our message is

verbal, as in content. The remaining 84% of our message is nonverbal,

as in body language.

They also learned that, first, tell your audience that you’re

going to tell them something. Second, tell your audience what you’re

going to tell them. Third, tell them what you said you would tell

them. Finally, tell them that you told them what you said you would

tell them.

President Bush is an excellent orator. On Tuesday, during his

State of the Union address, his body language, his dynamic voice, and

his eye contact all were perfect. However, our fearless leader talked

too much about the penultimate non-State of the Union issue -- Iraq

and the war on terror.

The physical layout of the speech, as published in the Los Angeles

Times, totaled 136 inches of two-inch columns. The first 55 inches of

text included Bush’s comments on terror and war. He referred to

terror 20 times. Killing came in second, with eight mentions; freedom

with six; war with five; enemies with four; weapons of mass

destruction, threat and violence, each with three; and defense with

two. Mentioned once were oppression, tragedy, manhunts, aggression,

brutality, fear, thugs, assassins, attack, chaos, carnage, dictators,

torture chambers, security, tyranny and despair.

Forty inches of text included elaboration on what we already knew:

the new Medicare bill, No Child Left Behind, a time of change, family

values, bad drugs (especially steroids), right choices, a strong

America, etc., etc., etc.

With a mere 22 inches of text, Bush explained his coming agenda.

Saying, “I will send,” “I propose,” “I urge,” “I ask” and “I have

proposed,” Bush highlighted working with the United Nations and Iraq,

new job training programs in the junior colleges, retirement and

health savings accounts, scaling back the deficit, health plans,

billions of dollars in grants for charity, $23 million for drug

testing in schools (yikes), double funding for teaching abstinence,

$300 million for a prisoner reentry initiative and permanent tax

cuts.

Nine inches of text were devoted to the Marriage Act, the

compassion of faith-based organizations and the 600,000 prisoners

soon to be released.

Bush’s ending remarks took up nine inches. He tugged at our

heartstrings with heavy-duty stuff: “Ashley Pearson, age 10,” “our

troops,” “grief” and “victory.”

The final score: New agenda, 17%; War on Terror, 40%; and other,

43%. Yep, he talked too much!

* FLO MARTIN is a high school teacher who lives in Costa Mesa.