Cuddling future mothers

Shawbong Fok

Last week, a 28-year-old pregnant woman who needed help called

Project Cuddle’s 24-hour hotline.

She said she was in a violent relationship. She needed to get out,

but couldn’t ask her parents for help because of her pregnancy. She

had nowhere to go and had no one to speak to. Anxious, she had

questions churning in her mind. Where would she live? What should she

do about her abusive relationship? Where would she seek prenatal

care?

Roxanne Arroues, 45, was on the hotline, listening to the woman

speak. Arroues listened to her pain and loneliness. There were brief

moments of silence. “I was afraid for her,” Arroues said.

Eventually, Arroues found the woman shelter and a doctor, even a

volunteer to talk to face-to-face, one on one. Now, the woman would

no longer be alone. No longer would she have to worry about her

prenatal care. There would be someone to listen to her.

Cases such as these bring Arroues, a volunteer with the Costa

Mesa-based Project Cuddle, joy and meaning in her life.

“I live and breathe Project Cuddle,” Arroues said.

Project Cuddle, a nonprofit organization founded in 1994, was the

first in the nation to offer such services 24 hours a day. It saves

about 60 babies from abandonment each year.

As a volunteer, Arroues listens to pregnant women, many of whom

contemplate abandoning their babies. She listens to their fearful

questions: “Who is going to take care of my baby?”; “Should I let my

parents find out about my pregnancy?” The volunteers on the hotline

not only listen, but also offer emotional support and, if needed,

referrals to medical and legal resources and to adoptive families.

Several women who call are in their teens and 20s, and the average

age of callers is 23 1/2 years old, according to Project Cuddle

studies. Many are impoverished, often without health insurance or the

financial means to support a baby.

About 3.6% of callers have been raped, and about 17.9% have been

physically abused. Most have unwanted pregnancies, about 78.6% of

callers. All of them don’t know what to do, Arroues said.

Project Cuddle’s services were so novel and so significant that

the executive director and founder, Debbe Magnusen, was featured on

national TV shows such as “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and “Geraldo.”

Later this year, a state of California-made video about pregnancy

will feature Project Cuddle’s 24-hour hotline phone number. The video

will be distributed to schools throughout California, potentially

increasing the pool of callers by the hundreds.

A typical caller, Arroues said, would speak slowly, often softly.

Much of the time, the caller would be confused.

“They are not sure why they are even calling,” Arroues said.

Their voices often times are shaking, with a tinge of hesitance.

“I just ache for them,” Arroues said. “They are so alone. They are

so afraid.”

Sometimes, after speaking with a caller, Arroues would cry.

After a telephone conversation or two, though, their anxiety would

start to melt away, she said. Their voices would get stronger,

growing in intensity and duration. For the first time, their

pregnancy would no longer be a secret because they finally had

someone to talk to. They would be more at ease, more confident.

They’d start to open up, Arroues said.