Cold reality at the hot corner

Barry Faulkner

Not long after he signed his national letter of intent, UC Irvine

freshman infielder Brian Roades was asked for an autograph of much

graver consequence.

He called it signing his life away.

The signature, obtained on a consent form before October surgery

to remove a tumor from behind his right knee, created the first

instance in which the optimism and faith that kicked in quickly after

his aneurysmal bone cyst was diagnosed, were overcome by virulent,

visceral fear.

In that moment, the affable 18-year-old athlete, for whom the

greatest adversity had been a hitless baseball game or an unblocked

pass rusher, came to grips with an altogether more imposing foe:

mortality.

“The worst part of it all was the morning before surgery,” said

Roades, who competed through the dull pain that began during his

senior baseball season at Chaminade College Preparatory High in West

Hills, where he also quarterbacked the football team. But eventually,

during his summer baseball regimen, sliding prompted unbearable pain,

as well as a visit to the doctor.

“All people having surgery have to sign that form, but I felt like

I was signing my life away,” he said.

After the procedure to remove the tennis-ball-sized noncancerous

tumor, which had consumed a portion of his femur that required a

graft of bone from a cadaver to restore to its original state, Roades

awoke to good news.

“The doctor was right there to tell me everything went well,”

Roades said. “Even though I was in a great deal of pain, I was able

to let go a big sigh of relief.”

After a three-day stay at UCLA Medical Center that included

encouraging phone calls from Anteaters teammates and coaches, Roades

began the long rehabilitation process that will soon conclude in the

resumption of full-speed practice participation.

Redshirting this season, the 6-foot-1, 180-pound third baseman

spent much of his first quarter at UCI riding to class on a motorized

scooter. A cast, which began just below his hip and extended to his

toes, was removed after seven weeks, taking with it most of the

muscle tone in his leg.

There was no atrophy, however, when it came to Roades’

determination, which has enabled him to constantly remain a step

ahead of his doctor’s rehabilitation timeline.

The sociology major, who remains a vibrant member of this year’s

team, used crutches to lug his cumbersome cast along the same path

his fellow infielders followed through fall workouts. Once he was

mobile enough -- he still can’t run full speed as the bone graft

needs more time to solidify -- he joined the Anteater pitchers

shagging in the outfield during batting practice. He even served as a

ball boy during intrasquad games.

“I felt like I could still be out there and I had plenty to

learn,” Roades said. “I always used to see the injured guys out there

when I was the one practicing, so I felt like I couldn’t not be

there. I also wanted to build the relationships with my teammates

that would never have happened if I’d never shown up.”

Roades said the bonding he has experienced with teammates may even

have been enhanced by his injury, since he has had more time to meet

and converse with most of the team while observing workouts.

“I knew a lot of the freshmen on the team coming in, because I had

played with and against them in high school,” he said. “But I think

my situation has helped me have even stronger relationships with all

of my teammates. Those guys drove me around everywhere they went,

when I had my cast on. I always rode shotgun.”

UCI Coach John Savage said the support of teammates has helped

Roades get though his ordeal. But it has hardly been a one-way

street.

“Brian never missed a beat in terms of his presence out there

every day and that presence has really been felt by our whole team,”

Savage said. “He’s a terrific guy who has always been very positive

and I think he has made a difference for us, without ever swinging a

bat or running the bases.”

Roades undergoes rehabilitation four times a week and estimates

he’ll be cleared within weeks to field ground balls, then start

taking batting practice.

“I couldn’t wait to start rehab and I can’t wait to start playing

baseball again,” he said, admitting he’ll return to the game a

changed person.

“It’s kind of cheesy, but this has made me realize how lucky I

am,” he said. “This could have been far worse. I really do appreciate

things more, now.”

Roades said the setback may even be considered a blessing.

“I think it could be [a blessing] in the sense that I’ll be able

to come back next year stronger and smarter. To be honest, I knew I

had so much to learn. Every day, I’m picking stuff up just by

watching and listening to the coaches. All the things I’m learning

right now, I’ll be taking with me into next season.”

But while his immediate prognosis is good, a shadow of doubt will

follow him into next season, and, perhaps, through the rest of his

life.

“There is a 30% chance the tumor could come back,” Roades said.

“So, I’ll always be thinking about that.”