Talking about a better place

Lolita Harper

It was the first time she had spoken to him.

They were huddled under a table in the school library and he told

her everything would be OK.

That was just before the two shoes appeared in her line of sight.

And before a round of buck shots shattered the wooden shelter above

them.

John Tomlin died that fateful day at Columbine High School, but

Nicole Nowlen survived to share her story and message of tolerance

with the Corona del Mar High School student body Tuesday morning.

“Some might say John and I were in the wrong place at the wrong

time,” Nowlen said. “But I think I was at the right place at the

right time. I was meant to go through this, even though it was

horrible, so I could be here today.”

Nowlen was the keynote speaker for a school-wide assembly for

“Diversity Week,” sponsored by the student group Peer Assistance

Leaders. Hers was a message of taking the time to be nice to everyone

-- even those who didn’t score the winning touchdown in the

divisional playoffs or get voted homecoming queen. Nowlen urged

Corona del Mar students to put aside clique rules of conduct and talk

to those who are different or ostracized.

The mob of students, who walked into the gymnasium boisterous and

quickly saved seats for themselves and their crews of friends, was

silent during Nowlen’s presentation. The speaker captivated their

attention with horrific details of April 20, 1999, telling of the

trauma of being shot by a sawed-off shot-gun at close range.

Tomlin and Nowlen had both been hit by the first round, but the

shooters noticed Tomlin was still alive and put a gun to his head to

finish the job, she described.

“They shot him again and I knew he was dead,” Nowlen said. “They

came to me and asked if I was still breathing. I didn’t move.

Something told me, “Lay down and play dead. Close your eyes and he’ll

leave you alone.”

He did.

But the effects of the event have not left Nowlen -- nor does she

want them to. Nowlen said she wants to spread the message of

acceptance, tolerance and simple niceness, especially on high school

campuses where tough times are being forged through and peer

pressures are at an all-time high.

“The world can be a very bad place -- and it is right now -- but

you have the chance to make it a better place,” Nowlen told the

student audience.

Leona Frey, 16, said Nowlen made a hard-hitting point about

tolerance that related to the students. Often, when people try to

hammer-home diversity, they do it in a preaching way, or a

lack-luster way, simply saying, “be nice” to this group or that

group, she said.

“I could relate to the message,” Leona said. “I definitely think

people will be nice now and maybe for a week but ... “

Her sentence trailed off.

Derek Fisher said Nowlen’s was an attitude that needs to be

implemented on his campus.

“Yeah, we do need to reach out more,” Derek said. “People are

really mean here. They make fun of the [special education students]

because of the helmets that they wear.”

Christina Fulcher, 17, said she did not consider herself part of

the “popular” crowd but questioned the term in any relevant sense on

campus.

Sure, she said, there is perhaps one group that could be

considered the “in crowd,” but the school is made up of lots of

groups, all of which interacted with people outside those

fraternities and in concert with others.

There are athletes -- often broken up seasonally by teams -- the

cheerleaders, the druggies, the band members, drama folk, student

leaders and many, many other affiliations, she said. Each group seems

happy to be around people they know and have common interests with

and not really longing to be like one group or another, Christina

said.

She could pinpoint a few people at the school that fit into no

group, those she would notice sitting by themselves during lunch, but

said she tried her best to include them in her social circle.

“I’ve sat by them a few times before,” Christina said. “There is

something about just sitting next to them and talking to them that

makes their eyes light up. If you just talk to them, they feel that

they’re not so alone.”

Christina said she plans to kick her friendly mannerisms up at

notch both on and off campus.

“[The assembly] was really inspiring,” she said. “We should all be

nice to people. Just a smile can make an impact.”

* LOLITA HARPER is the community forum editor. She also writes

columns Wednesdays and Fridays. She may be reached at (949) 574-4275

or by e-mail at lolita.harper@latimes.com.