Enough time to learn a few lessons

STEVE SMITH

Little League baseball seems to me to be able to offer parents and

kids more of those “teachable” moments than other sports. I admit to

some bias in that opinion because I love baseball, but there is some

concrete support for it as well.

Baseball is a relatively slow game, a notion reinforced by

watching it on television, where the cameras are focused far too much

on the batter at home plate. That is often where the least amount of

action is taking place. The slow pace affords time for conversations

between players, coaches and parents that do not occur as often in

basketball, football or soccer.

Our last couple of Little League games have provided us with

several lessons. A week ago, there was a scoring issue involving

batters batting out of order that resulted in a lot of confusion and

a long delay in the game. The pending judgment against our team would

have cost us an important run and I was firm in the support of my

position. “Firm” is actually a mild version of my response. I was

rather loud.

As the drama unfolded and the umpire searched the rule book for an

answer, I pressed my case and pressed it rather hard. Darn it, I knew

I was right! But that should not have mattered. Right or wrong, there

is a way to conduct ourselves.

I was reminded of this by the umpire who told me that while the

dispute was being settled, we need to set a good example for the

kids.

Of course, he was right and I apologized for my reaction.

The matter finally got settled, but not before one player told me

he had never seen me mad before. I took the opportunity to tell him

that I was out of line and to explain that the rule book will settle

any dispute and we should be civil during the process. That’s what I

said but I spoke it in “kid.” Most parents speak “kid” as a second

language.

So, a player learns at least one lesson and I am reminded of

several. I don’t argue with umpires. Having been one, I know how hard

and thankless the job is and also that arguing with the umpire

usually doesn’t do any good. In fact, it can actually do a lot of

harm.

Most kids do not play well when they are mad. They may think they

do or think they can, but most do not. So getting them mad over a

call usually is a distraction.

The best lesson for which I got a reminder was that patterns of

behavior, not isolated incidents, are the key to judging or

evaluating someone. Many times, I have seen parents do things out of

frustration; single reactions to specific situations that often

develop because of factors totally unrelated to the situation.

A parent who yells at his or her child may be sick or have some

other personal matter that drives that type of behavior. That doesn’t

excuse the behavior, but it explains it and makes it a little easier

to deal with. The line is drawn at hitting kids.

Anyone who saw me arguing last Saturday would have concluded that

I am a hot head. But that was the first argument with an umpire I can

recall since I coached a softball team in 1999 -- an isolated

incident.

At the following game, I was more true to form. One of our players

ran home and was called “out” by the umpire. From my vantage point at

third base, I believed that the umpire was not in the proper position

to get the correct angle on the call and that our guy was safe.

The player walked to the dugout very upset. I was upset, too. I

walked over to the umpire and told him that in my opinion, our guy

was safe but that was the end of it and that this would be a message

shared by the two of us.

Then I walked over to the runner who was called out and told him

that the play was over, we lost the call and we have to move on.

Most coaches share the same philosophy. We really, really want to

win. But we do not cheat and we do not win at the expense of being

rude or uncivil.

I’ve seen only one manager in six years whom I thought was unfit

to coach kids. These lessons are everywhere, everyday, but we miss

most of them because most of us are just too busy to stop and take

advantage of the opportunities.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(949) 642-6086.