Removing stress from admissions

Marisa O’Neil

When Scott Packer worked as a college admissions officer, he expected

to get calls from parents anxiously asking how to prepare their

middle school-aged children to get into college.

But the calls from parents with children still in elementary

school were another matter.

“You’d get off the phone with them and you’d have to laugh about

it and cry about it,” Packer said. “They feel like they have to throw

their children into the middle of the panic so early.”

Packer, now the director of college counseling at Sage Hill School

in Newport Coast, is hoping to ease some parents’ fears about getting

their children into college in a highly competitive era. He will be

speaking tonight at a college information night geared toward middle

school students and their parents.

The event is being sponsored by local private schools Carden Hall,

Harbor Day and the Pegasus School, but is free for all students.

“We thought it would be helpful to have someone who’s been inside

the process talk about why it’s important not to worry and to keep a

sense of balance while preparing your child for college,” Packer

said.

That anxiety has led parents to start preparing their children

earlier and earlier, often unnecessarily increasing everybody’s

stress level, he said. But parents sometimes see it as a necessary

evil to get their children into the school they want.

“There seem to be two schools of thought,” said Brian Oliphant,

upper school director for Harbor Day School, which serves students in

kindergarten through eighth grade. “Some think it’s too intense, too

early. Others think it’s just the reality of the situation.”

The process of actively working toward getting into college

doesn’t really need to start until the middle of the junior year of

high school, Packer said. He suggests only general preparation before

that, like picking the right classes and concentrating on doing well

on standardized tests.

Part of preparing for college, he said, is enjoying high school --

dating, sports and other extracurricular activities.

“We want to demystify the process and take the stress out of it,”

said Mennette San-Lee, director of admissions and financial aid for

Sage Hill. “We want [parents] to focus on making the next three years

of middle school and four years of high school the most enjoyable

experiences for their children and to set a foundation so they can

gain the skills they need to go off to college.”

Many private schools, like Sage Hill, employ full-time college

counselors to help children get into college. Public schools, with

larger enrollments and tighter budgets, don’t have that luxury.

Unscrupulous independent college counselors can prey on parents’

fears that their children aren’t receiving enough attention, Packer

said. Parents sometimes spend thousands of dollars in the hope that

they can get their children into a specific school.

Knowing of a variety of colleges that suit a student’s needs and

desires is one of the keys to success, Packer said. Even the best

counselor can’t always get everybody into a prestigious school --

that comes down to making the right school selection.

“I don’t get anybody into Stanford,” Packer said. “The kids get

themselves into Stanford.”

* MARISA O’NEIL covers education. She may be reached at (949)

574-4268 or by e-mail at marisa.oneil@latimes.com.