Not good to the last drop

TRICIA BEHLE

The black and white opening sequence does a good job of capturing the

look and feel of the classic old Frankenstein movies. Too quickly

though, the flaws of the film become apparent.

During the late 19th century, Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman)

works for a secret society within the Catholic Church, hunting down

the evil and the cursed. Van Helsing’s next mission is to go to the

aid of the Valerious family in Transylvania.

The Valerious family has been trying to kill Count Dracula

(Richard Roxbough) for 400 years, without success. Only two members

of the family are left. Van Helsing joins forces with Anna Valerious

(Kate Beckinsale) to fight the Count and all manner of other evil

creatures.

The main problem with “Van Helsing” is a very bad script. The

story line is uninvolving with plot twists that feel just thrown in

at random. The small amount of character development and back story

is convoluted and delivered in an awkward manner.

Writer and director Stephen Sommers, who did “The Mummy” and “The

Mummy Returns,” has overstuffed “Van Helsing” with too many monsters.

Mr. Hyde, Dracula, Dracula’s brides, the Wolfman and Frankenstein’s

monster all make an appearance.

Sommers borrowed all his characters from the classic old monster

films, but he failed to understand what made those movies so great.

Sadly missing from “Van Helsing” is the creeping dread and the slowly

building suspense that made the old films so enjoyable.

Sommers also relies too heavily on computer animation for the

action scenes. Computer-generated creatures fighting just isn’t all

that interesting.

“Van Helsing” is often visually beautiful. Some of the scenery and

sets are fabulous. Jackman and Beckinsale look gorgeous. But a

generous amount of eye candy is not enough to save this film.

If you like nonstop action and computer-generated effects, you

might like “Van Helsing.” But if you love good vampire and monster

movies, rent the classic old films and skip “Van Helsing.”

* TRICIA BEHLE lives in Newport Beach and works as a software

validator.

Fast-food commentary

worth eating up

Every now and then a low budget documentary film leaps from the

back alleys of Hollywood to capture the imagination of millions of

viewers, “The Fog of War” and “Bowling for Columbine” being the most

recent examples. “Super Size Me” is this year’s rollicking example of

a harsh light illuminating a subject we all know about, but don’t

want to examine too closely.

Writer/director Morgan Spurlock touches a raw nerve in all of us

by exposing the dark side of America’s fast-food habit. Spurlock

commits to eating all three meals a day for 30 days at McDonald’s

restaurants around the country. For that concentrated month, he only

consumes what he can get at McDonald’s, including water. Egg

McMuffins for breakfast, double cheeseburgers and fries for lunch and

Happy Meals for dinner.

Three doctors follow Spurlock’s health from the beginning of the

experiment. He starts out remarkably healthy but deteriorates rapidly

as we see his ongoing medical check-ups. In one month he gains 25

pounds, adds 65 points to his cholesterol and suffers liver damage

that his doctor thought could only result from binge drinking in so

short a time. His girlfriend complains about his declining sexual

performance.

What makes this all really entertaining is that Spurlock enlivens

the entire enterprise with several very intelligent sideshows. He

utilizes great music and animated sequences that detail the fat facts

of the American diet. He uncovers the horrors of public school

cafeteria menus with on-site inspections. He interviews sad food

addicts who weigh more than 300 pounds along with lobbyists for the

snack food industry. He films a gastric bypass surgery to the

majestic sound of classical music. Informative, clever and full of

guilty laughter, “Super Size Me” presents a terrible truth with a

very wry smile.

* JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator

for the Orange County public defender’s office.