Not-so-ugly ‘ducklets,’ and other critters

PETER BUFFA

Got ducks? We do. Not a lot. Just a few.

Every so often, I catch a glimpse of one or two ducks strolling

down our street, a quiet cul-de-sac in Mesa Verde. Is it shocking?

No. But it is a little surprising. A duck in the park? Fine. Ducks on

a lake? Of course. But a duck, or two, strolling down your basic

residential street is different. That’s why an item about ducks at

South Coast Plaza caught my eye. Apparently, a small family of ducks

has staked out an area at one end of the Bridge of Gardens on Bear

Street.

They hang out, paddle around in the fountains, shop and do

whatever ducks do. A few days ago, one of the ducks had 11 ducklets,

technically called ducklings, which caused a minor sensation.

“They are so cute,” said South Coast Plaza spokeswoman Beverly

Morgan.

Agreed. Ducks, cute; ducklets, too cute.

But that doesn’t explain how and why they show up in my driveway.

Obviously, smack in the middle of Costa Mesa, it’s not about

development encroaching on the wild, such as the recent mountain lion

encounters in South County, or Friday’s surprise visit by two bobcats

to an elementary school in Aliso Viejo. Nope, nothing that grand. I

assume it has something to do with the fact that we are a stone’s

throw away from both Costa Mesa and Mesa Verde Country Clubs and

their accompanying golf courses.

I do know that the golf courses account for the steady stream of

wildlife that meanders through our neighborhood at night, i.e.,

skunks, possums and raccoons, not necessarily in that order. The

ducks must come from the same place, albeit during the day, since

ducks are smart enough to give the nocturnal critters a wide berth.

Not being duck-literate, I thought I should learn something about

them, especially if they’re going to be hanging out in the front

yard.

Here’s what I found out. You will be fascinated to know, I’m sure,

that the smallest duck weighs about one pound, and the largest duck

can weigh as much as about 15 pounds. Wowski. Now that’s a duck. I’ve

never seen a 15-pound duck, but I suspect they go wherever they want.

Ducks have the greatest variety of color patterns of any

waterfowl. Male ducks are called drakes, thus the term, “Ducky

Drake.” Female ducks are called hens, thus the term, “hen.”

Duck experts, called duckologists, classify ducks by seven groups,

or tribes. There are freshwater diving ducks, stiff-tailed ducks,

diving sea ducks, perching ducks, eiders, and my two personal

favorites -- whistling ducks and dabbling ducks. I assume whistling

ducks whistle, and dabbling ducks are part-time ducks. Maybe they’re

raccoons at night. I don’t know.

Speaking of raccoons, we’ve had a family of three of them hanging

around for the last few months, and I’ve hammered out an agreement

with them. They don’t like me and I don’t like them, and we’ve all

agreed to pretend the other does not exist.

A while back, I was putting out some trash on the side of the

house, which is a dark. It’s a foreboding place in the night hours.

As I turned the corner, I saw the silhouette of a raccoon on the

path, about six feet away. We both stopped in our tracks. Out of the

corner of my eye, I saw something creeping along the top of the

sideyard fence, about three feet away. I turned, slowly, and couldn’t

help but notice the little red eyes of a second raccoon who hissed at

me, trying to scare me. It worked really, really well. I dropped the

bag of trash at my feet and gestured to it as if to say, “There it

is. I was never here. I’m going inside now.” As I turned around, I

saw Raccoon III, who was standing about 6 feet behind me, rearing up

on his hind legs. That worked even better than the hissing. I darted

through a flowerbed and back inside the house, locking dead bolts and

turning out lights as fast as I could. Where were we? I remember --

ducks.

Girl ducks make the loud “quack!” that you most associate with the

little beasts, while boy ducks have a raspy, muffled call. Duck’s

have excellent vision and see in color, which is not that common in

the animal kingdom.

Duck marriages last exactly one year. A drake and a hen hook up in

the spring, make ducklets and then find another mate the next spring.

Ducks sleep with one eye open and can react to a predator in a

fraction of a second. Speaking of which, with plenty of food, no

predators and staying off any golf course that I am playing on, ducks

can live for 20 years or more. The oldest on record was a mallard

drake that lived 27 years. He never married. Just kidding. Oh, one

last thing. A duck’s quack will not echo, and no one knows why.

So there you have it. Duck sightings in Newport-Mesa. It might not

match up to mountain lions, but it’s worth noting. Keep an eye out

for them, give them the right-of-way, avoid the raccoons at all

costs. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.