All in the family

Deirdre Newman

Pauline Todd is not one to dwell on the negative.

She considers dialysis a blessing since it has enabled her to live

with kidney failure for the past three years. It also has given her

the chance to live long enough to be eligible for a new, pioneering

program allowing her to receive a kidney from her daughter, Paula

Baggett, 46, even though her blood type is not a perfect match.

The procedure, called plasmapherisis, removes antibodies from the

kidney recipient’s bloodstream to lessen the chance of rejection when

the donor and recipient are not an ideal match.

While the expensive procedure will be paid mostly by insurance,

Todd and Baggett are trying to raise money for airfare to Baltimore

and housing on the campus of Johns Hopkins Hospital, where the

transplant will take place in June.

Baggett’s church, Christ Lutheran Church in Costa Mesa, will host

a fundraiser Friday night to raise money for the expenses insurance

doesn’t cover.

“This is why churches exist -- to be together and support each

other in the name of Christ,” church Pastor Bill Hemenway said.

Todd is used to giving, not receiving. Eleven years ago she

founded the Hot Meal Ministry through her church, Orangethorpe

Christian Church, in Fullerton. It provides free dinners every Monday

evening and has served more than 88,000 people, she said.

“My biggest joy comes every Monday night,” she said. “When you

give to people, you get so much back.”

Todd found out she had kidney failure out of the blue eight years

ago when she got a prescription refilled and her new doctor ran some

standard blood tests. She calls it a “sneaky disease” and decided she

would out-sneak it for as long as she could.

She staved off dialysis for five years by going on a special renal

diet that severely limited her food intake.

“She has taken extraordinary care of herself and I admire her for

that,” her daughter said. “Her diet is extreme and most people

wouldn’t be able to stick to it.”

When it became necessary to start dialysis, Todd handled it with

her usual aplomb. The 63-year-old redhead’s strength may be sapped,

but her unflappable spirit still smolders.

“Everything has side effects,” she said. “You deal with it. This

is what I was handed, so this is the hand I play.”

She was originally scheduled to have the surgery last fall, but it

had to be postponed because of medical complications.While Todd tries

to stay upbeat, Baggett said she has seen the toll the disease has

taken on her mother.

“She’s lost a lot of weight,” Baggett said. “It’s just a hard

life. She’s in bed three days a week [because of the dialysis]. She

couldn’t come to my son’s graduation because she was too sick.”

Todd acknowledges she has good days and bad days and said she is

extremely grateful for her daughter’s gift of life.

“I’m a survivor -- that’s my name,” Todd said. “She’s my angel.”

To prepare for the transplant, Baggett has lost 40 pounds and went

through a slew of tests. Now she is just trying to stay healthy for

the operation.

After the operation, Todd will have to stay in Baltimore for six

to eight weeks. At a family meeting recently, both families figured

out how they could have someone stay with Todd after the operation

for every day of that time except a few. Her husband, Norm, is taking

three weeks off from work to be there, Todd said.

It was Baggett’s idea to hold the fundraiser and the church was

receptive since it was looking for ways to support both families,

Hemenway said. Baggett’s sister, Elizabeth, 40, helped organize the

fundraiser, which they hope will raise about $8,000.

“The support and love I’ve gotten from this church just blows me

away,” Baggett said.

Baggett’s son, Aaron Barnes, 21, will be playing in two bands

during the fundraiser. Todd and Baggett embody the true spirit that

the church teaches, Hemenway said.

“I’ve always been captivated by Paula’s love for her mom and we’ve

been praying for her,” Hemenway said. “This is the act of

graciousness and love. We do our level best to model love around

here, but when it’s shown like that, you don’t need to do anything.”

* DEIRDRE NEWMAN covers Costa Mesa. She may be reached at (949)

574-4221 or by e-mail at deirdre.newman@latimes.com.