The goods to remove skunk smells

KAREN WIGHT

The Wild Life. Actually, I should say wildlife. I’m not talking about

“La Vida Loca.” I’m talking about all God’s creatures, great and

small.

I can’t call our neighborhood rural, but sometimes it feels like

we’re the amusement park for local varmints. Our house is close to

the Back Bay, we don’t have backyard neighbors, and the access is

easy for curious creatures.

Over the years, we have had a variety of guests. Our favorite was

the raccoon that came almost every night one summer. It was

fascinating to watch him play with the kids’ toys, litter the grass

and push the swing that hung from a tree. He would wander around the

yard, pick up overlooked items, examine them and, being the neat

freaks that raccoons are, wash the toys and his late-night snacks in

our little plastic pool. Afterward, he’d sit back and enjoy the view

in what appeared to be a moment of sincere appreciation. There was a

lot going on behind that mask.

The visit that jolted me most was finding an opossum asleep with

my 3-year-old daughter. I checked on her before going to bed and

found a baby opossum nestled on top of her head. They were both

sleeping peacefully, which meant the opossum had been there long

enough to find her room, climb up on the bed, find the warmest spot

possible and fall asleep.

Our least favorite critters are the skunks that sashay through the

yard. Our backyard hosts the local skunk freeway. All access roads

are located off the Wight Highway. The dog has been on the receiving

end of a skunk encounter three times. If you think it’s bad to smell

skunks in the yard, it’s infinitely worse to have fresh skunk oil

smeared on your sheets, blankets, bed pillows -- all compliments of a

frantic and reeking pooch. The first time the dog was sprayed, I was

at a complete loss about how to remove the oil from the dog and my

bed. I vaguely remembered something about tomato juice, but it seemed

like it would take an inordinate amount of tomato juice to cure the

situation.

The second thought that came to mind was a cure that a friend had

mentioned in passing because she had thought it was so strange:

Massengill douches. Don’t laugh, you read it right. Douche, the kind

found in the feminine hygiene aisle of the drug store. At 3 a.m., I

didn’t have the wherewithal to debate the merits of douche versus

tomato juice, vinegar or my own hair products. I sent the husband on

a rescue mission to Sav-On. His orders: buy enough Massengill to

clean a very rank dog. I’m not sure if I told him what a douche was

or where to find it in the store, but he came back in 20 minutes

stinging from the laughter of the cashier. He didn’t think it was

funny. And it didn’t completely rid the dog of the smell. In fact,

none of the remedies I’ve tried have worked 100%. I did a little

online research and found a website that listed remedies for skunk

odor. There are as many “cures” as there are pet owners. Skunk

survivors submitted the following quotes, and a few of them were so

obtuse, I felt I must share them with you:

“As soon as possible, soak your pet with Coca-Cola/Pepsi. Soak for

several minutes, then bathe with pet shampoo. Works like a charm, but

if you have a white dog or cat, you will dye the fur.”

“The only thing I have used that works are fireplace ashes. Make

into a paste and rub into your pet’s coat. Also, for its face, use

Scope mouthwash on a washcloth.”

“My cat was sprayed some years back. We bathed her in tomato

juice. She came out smelling like a skunk who’d had salad for lunch.”

“One pound of baking soda dissolved in one to two gallons of warm

water. Use sponge or rags to run into pet’s fur/hair. Can use on

humans too. When my husband and dogs were sprayed, they slept inside

afterward.”

“My German shepherd got sprayed and I found that perm neutralizer

did a fabulous job.”

“Dawn dish soap! It works like magic. Tomato juice didn’t help, so

I called him (a veterinarian), and wow, all smell was gone. Try it --

you’ll love it!”

“I got this tip from a veterinarian years ago. Make a paste with

douche powder (yikes!) and water. Work into the fur; let it sit for a

bit, then rinse. Repeat if necessary but you probably won’t have to.

Honest!”

There you have it, advice from the experts: coke, tomato juice,

ashes, douches, dish soap, mouthwash -- you choose from this

scientific list of remedies. Or better yet, send those skunks down

the road; they’ll find our backyard sooner or later.

* KAREN WIGHT is a Newport Beach resident. Her column runs

Thursdays.