Beware of the chili bandits

Michael Arnold Glueck and Thomas R. Damiani

Who says the Daily Pilot and its readers do no investigative

journalism?

This team went under the coffee grounds for the story.

Call it the Chili-Scene Investigation, the Chili-Scam

Investigation, the Chili-Serving Investigation or the Chili-Size

Indigestion. Whatever we call it, it is a noble form of CSI (Crime

Scene Investigators).

As part of the ongoing Newport-Mesa coffee-klatch story, we have

noted that a popular fast-food hamburger establishment in Costa Mesa

served chili in two sizes: small for a buck and large for two bucks.

One member of the eat-witness team suggested that the large cup

contained little more than the small. Others thought not. Their

identities are being kept classified and confidential in case of

further under-the-counter-top investigations. Now mind you, at this

place the chili is terrific, and tomato sauce is considered good for

your health -- this week.

We bought one large and one small chili to go. At the coffee lab

next door, we poured out the small size chili and found that the

contents of the large-size serving filled the small cup only 1 1/3

times! (What? Thirty-three percent more grub for 100% increase in gelt? Don’t you usually get more value with the larger size?

Note, there is nothing illegal in all this and that. On an

absolute scale, the chili is a bargain no matter what size is

purchased. The manager and service people are the nicest. If asked,

the manager would probably tell you that that this large “downsizing”

is in response to others “supersizing.” This chain is probably just

looking out for our health.

We thought maybe our eyes were playing tricks, so we measured and

weighed the contents of both cups. Contents of the large cup measured

350 milliliters and weighed 13.5 ounces while the contents of the

small cup measured 250 milliliters and weighed 10 ounces.

So, our eyes had not lied. We had been chili-con-carned. Not as

serious as the Enron, Arthur Andersen, Adelphia, or Martha Stewart

scandals or the con dejours of the legal profession.

Now Corporation X could solve this by increasing the size or

decreasing the price of the large cup. Or -- ye gads -- by

smaller-sizing the small cup.

Or, we hungry Newport-Mesans could just order two small cups for a

buck each.

Leave the large cups to loaf.

As a local contest we would like to ask some of the area

accountants to do a bean count for us on both chili cup sizes to

verify our findings.

So in sum, large is not necessarily a better value. Beware of the

chili bandits.

Is it time to demand more moo in our chew? Considering the number

of obese adults and children in our community, maybe it is -- or

maybe it isn’t.

* MICHAEL ARNOLD GLUECK is a Newport Beach physician, writer,

author and a member of the Board of Orange County Citizens Against

Lawsuit abuse. THOMAS R. DAMIANI of Newport Beach is a business

consultant.