Putting our lives in perspective

STEVE SMITH

Over the past couple of weeks, our kids have had to endure more than

their share of peril and personal challenges. Two weeks ago, friend

Mike Barr and his daughter, Sarah, accompanied my daughter and me on

a very strenuous 17-mile, all-day hike to the top of Half Dome in

Yosemite National Park.

The walking part is no picnic, and then it gets worse. The last

600 feet have to be conquered by pulling oneself along cables on the

side of the dome at an angle of about 55 degrees. It’s very tiring

and very scary.

A friend who made the hike last year, one who is in excellent

physical condition, told me that it was the most physically demanding

thing he’d ever done.

Once at the top, however, the view is spectacular.

Last weekend, it was all of the Smiths conquering Crystal Cave in

Sequoia National Park. Kaitlyn’s calves had only just recovered from

the tough Half Dome hike when we asked her to go caving. This was the

second caving trip for my wife, Cay, and my son, Roy, and the first

time for Kaitlyn and me.

Both times, the expeditions were led by Doug Billings, an

experienced caver who has crawled and squeezed his way in caves all

over the world. As a cave trustee, Doug is able to go where very few

are allowed. During the day, we crawled, squeezed and jumped our way

into some of the most fantastic places we’d ever seen.

Half Dome one weekend and caving the next was a lot for me and

even more for Kaitlyn. She is the studious type, not one to go out

and play when she could be inside curled up with a good book.

Over the course of the two weekends, however, Kaitlyn found

reserves she never knew she had.

As much as she does, many kids do more. There are kids who

practice untold hours each week to become very good at what they like

to do, whether it’s beach volleyball or playing the piano. Other kids

spend their free time working to help support their families.

Still others do far more than their share of community service in

order to help families in need.

And then there are kids who just hang out, whether it’s at the

convenience store or the mall.

I am reminded of all of these kids as I read the “Living on

Pennies” series by Davan Maharaj in the Los Angeles Times. Maharaj’s

words are supported by the superb photography of Francine Orr.

The series explores life in Africa in 2004. Reading it, one is

moved not only by the extreme poverty but also by the absence of

hope, starting, tragically, as early as age 2 and 3 when these

children do not have enough to eat and their distended bellies signal

their plight.

In Willowfontein, South Africa, we read of the children who could

not go to school because their parents did not have the $10 it took

to enroll. That money was needed for food.

It is impossible to read these stories and not want to go down on

your knees and be so thankful for the rich lives we lead. And it’s

hard to read these stories and wonder how so many of us can take for

granted so much of what we have here in the United States, including

so much hope.

The chances are good that if you’re reading this, your kids are in

a good school, you have more than enough food on the table, and

you’re enjoying many of the comforts and conveniences that these

African kids can’t even dream about. You have hope, possibilities,

and the ability to change your situation over time -- they do not.

At every stage of life, we seem to be getting upset or anxious

about the wrong things. As kids, we’re upset if we don’t get our way.

As teenagers, we fret about our hair or complexion. As adults, our

day is ruined if someone cuts us off on the freeway or our latte is

not hot enough.

This is life in the big city. We have to deal with these things

because it is the life we have chosen, but we don’t have to get upset

about them, for in the long run, they mean nothing.

Two days ago, my daughter wanted to go home from a place she was

visiting with her mom, but Cay was not yet ready to leave. So,

Kaitlyn walked the two miles.

Two miles may not seem like a lot to some, but to a kid who is

used to climbing in a car to get from here to there, it is a long

way. I doubt she would have walked home had her Half Dome hike not

proven to her what she was capable of.

There are kids with potential in Ethiopia, too, but most of them

will live each day wearing rags and scrounging for food.

This isn’t a call to send money, food or clothes to Africa.

Perhaps it’s just a wish that the contrast will help more of us

appreciate our rich lives and appreciate that whatever we have or

don’t have, this is America, and we’ll always have hope and

possibilities.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(949) 642-6086.