Something foul about community’s discourse

I enjoyed reading Robert Gardner’s column on vulgarity in public

discourse (“Politics becoming openly profane,” July 13). His

description of what was acceptable and unacceptable public speech

leaves me longing for the good old days. I am not in a position to

influence the epithets uttered in Washington, but I hope something

can be done in Newport-Mesa.

There is a time and a place for expletives. I have been known to

utter a few of them myself in appropriate situations. However,

Newport-Mesa has become a place where vulgar words are being used in

family restaurants, coffee houses and banks, not as expletives but as

common nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs.

Imagine Friday, around noon at your friendly neighborhood IHOP.

Should be a safe place to take your child to lunch, shouldn’t it?

Family restaurant, family time of day. Guessed wrong! Shortly after

my son and I ordered our meal, four 20-year-olds were seated in the

booth next to us. Without regard for their whereabouts, they loudly

related their exploits of the night before to each other and on

cellphone. At about the fourth F-word (not counting the S-words et

al) I finally spoke up, citing my child’s presence.

They complied by omitting the expletives but continued to discuss

the prior night’s debauchery in glowing terms. I hurried my child

through his meal, and we fled the restaurant.

Imagine, Tuesday, 5 p.m.-ish, walking past the patio tables at

Starbucks. A very hip, stylish businessman is on his cellphone

uttering the F-word about every fourth or fifth word. My son wasn’t

with me, so I didn’t say anything. I’m thinking that’s a mistake on

my part.

Imagine, Wednesday afternoon, standing in line at the bank. One

normally thinks of banks as secure, safe and professional, not your

normal venue for profanity. Wrong! From behind me I hear more

profanity, with repeated F-words. Instantly I turned, and uttered my

best, indignant “Excuse me! I have my child here.”

Guess what the reaction was? Not sorry, not oops, but “Hey,

where’s the kid?” Astounded at this demand, I pointed at my son, some

10 to 15 feet away. The offending mouth then uttered an “Oh” and

shrugged.

At that moment, it occurred to me that I shouldn’t need a child

with me to object to such vulgar language.

This isn’t just a problem of language “gone bad.” The foul

language is just a symptom of an increasingly coarse society. Foul

language isn’t free speech. It costs each of us a bit of our serenity

and dignity. It prepares us to accept foul behavior. Foul language

has become much too commonplace. Foul behavior such as that of Greg

Haidl and friends was not shocking enough to a jury of 12 to warrant

punishment. The boys at IHOP only censored their language, not their

content, for a child’s ears. And my friend in line at the bank seemed

to believe his language was appropriate for all but children.

At some point, we as a community need to take a stand against that

which robs our children of their innocence, and that which coarsens

our society to the point of accepting as normal the above behaviors.

JEANNE TARAZEVITS

Costa Mesa