‘Catwoman’ no friendly feline

JIM ERWIN

When they make a list of the top 100 movies of 2004, “Catwoman,” will

not be one of them. This is a film that should be taken to the vet’s

office and “fixed” before it can produce any sequels. Only hardcore

fans of comic book movies will find this movie interesting, and even

then, it’s a renter at best.

Halle Berry and Sharon Stone star in what is essentially a grade-B

movie with a grade-A budget. Berry plays Patience Phillips, a graphic

artist who dies and is resurrected into Catwoman by a mysterious

Egyptian cat. Berry’s whip-cracking, leather-clad superhero seems

more like a bad West Hollywood nightclub performer than an empowered

woman taking revenge on evildoers. She’s miscast in a role that’s

emotionally flat and almost completely physical. Hiding her face

behind a mask spays her as a performer.

In contrast, Stone is totally at home playing Laurel Hedare, the

evil conniving shrew of a villainess. Hedare is obsessed with being

worshipped as beauty incarnate and cares about nothing except her own

stature and power. Stone is obviously having fun being the bad girl.

When she has a punch line, she oozes bitterness and sarcasm. There’s

really no one who can stand up to her.

The climatic catfight between Stone and Berry is a major letdown.

Stone doesn’t get her own leather suit to show off her wares and

virtually the entire fight is CGI animation. Guys who were hoping

these two would get it on in a hair-pulling, nail-scratching,

clothes-ripping street brawl will be sorely disappointed.

Rounding out the cast is Benjamin Bratt, playing one of the

world’s stupidest police officers. Bratt needs to find a movie role

other than supporting cop/love interest. It’s like he’s never

outgrown his character on “Law and Order”.

One-name director Pitof has only one interest, CGI visual effects.

That’s been the main focus of his career and it’s clear he thinks

mediocre CGI trumps good writing. Of course, he’s wrong and this

movie is a textbook example of why he’s wrong. The lack of attention

to story and character make “Catwoman” an unintentional comedy.

Pitof’s other obsession, frequent close-ups of Berry’s butt, makes

you wonder whether he’s really just a frustrated music-video fan.

If you’re curious about “Catwoman,” my suggestion is to wait for

the DVD, which will probably be out by October. This one won’t last

very long in the theaters and we should all be thankful.

* JIM ERWIN, 40, is a technical writer and computer trainer.

Ferrell wins you over in “Anchorman”

Local television news, with its dubious journalism and

not-ready-for-network announcers, undoubtedly provides rich fodder

for comedy and satire. This is especially true of secondary

television markets, such as San Diego -- the locale of “Anchorman:

The Legend of Ron Burgundy.” Additionally, the story takes place in

the 1970s, which allows for ridiculous, period clothing and hair and

the last vestiges of true chauvinism.

Ron Burgundy is played by “Saturday Night Live” alumnus Will

Ferrell. Burgundy is an anchorman for San Diego’s top-rated news

team. His on-air comrades include super-macho newscaster Brian

Fantana (Paul Rudd), good old boy sportscaster Champ Kind (David

Koechner) and imbecilic weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell). The

station’s promo shows the four of them swaggering toward the camera

like a scene from “Gunfight at the O.K. Corral,” with nary a woman in

sight.

Burgundy is a cocksure, talking head, who is more than content to

be a big fish in a small pond. With his bad ‘70s hair and mustache

and his comically hideous, period wardrobe of polyester suits, wide

ties and patterned shirts, Burgundy is oblivious to any world that

exists outside the newsroom. Even his social life, which consists of

drinking, smoking, and boorishly propositioning clueless women,

exclusively involves his newsroom cronies and hordes of fawning fans.

Burgundy’s fragile bubble bursts when station manager Ed Harken

(Fred Willard), under pressure from the network, decides to diversify

the on-air talent by hiring a -- gasp -- woman. The woman in

question, Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate), is a serious

television journalist who is initially assigned fluff pieces, such as

covering cat shows and interviewing bake-off winners. Naturally,

Burgundy and his buddies are appalled and proceed to do everything

they can to fluster Veronica and get her fired.

The men’s united front collapses when Burgundy falls in love with

Veronica and announces it to the whole world on the air. This causes

a rift with the boys and they hammer away on Burgundy to get him to

see the error of his ways. Ultimately, the romance fizzles and the

former lovers become fierce rivals.

It is a testament to Ferrell’s comedic talents that he can play

such an arrogant, shallow, stupid and misogynistic cad as Ron

Burgundy and still infuse him with a good measure of humanity. We

like Burgundy, in spite of some horrendous statements and actions and

actually cheer for him after he suffers his inevitable fall from

grace.

Ferrell’s film career is on a roll (“Elf,” “Old School”), and he

may be the hottest former SNL cast member, with the possible

exception of Adam Sandler. Ferrell is so likable in his roles, we are

willing to forgive almost anything.

The other cast members all play their parts well. Applegate has

seemingly made the rare successful transition from teen television

star to legitimate movie actress and, at 33, finally looks mature

enough to play strictly adult roles. Much of the fun of “Anchorman”

comes from the mostly uncredited small roles filled by Vince Vaughn,

Luke Wilson, Jack Black, Tim Robbins and Ben Stiller.

“Anchorman” is very silly in tone and not all the jokes work.

However, there are plenty of belly laughs to keep you interested,

and, in Ferrell, you get to see one of the best comic actors working

today.

* VAN NOVACK, 50, is the director of institutional research at Cal

State Long Beach and lives in Huntington Beach with his wife

Elizabeth.