Living under the principle of ‘IDM’

CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON

“May you live all the days of your life.”

-- JONATHAN SWIFT

“The sense of wonder at the compassion of God causes one to look

at others with the same sense of love and care.”

-- JOHN YATES

It may be summer, and the weather may be warm, but I thought about

Christmas a few weeks ago.

Before you quit reading, let me tell you that I am in no rush to

end summer.

The reason I thought about Christmas was that I ran into a woman

at church, and we talked about our children and our summers. She

filled me in on their activities and then said she was determined to

enjoy the time with her children because she remembered how often I

spoke about how quickly children grow. I explained that it seemed as

though our daughters were just recently running around on church

patios and telling us what they learned, and now they are both

married, and one couple has a daughter of their own.

I could tell by the look on her face that she was as amazed as I

was.

“That’s why I wanted to tell you about that talk so many years

ago,” she said. “It was before Christmas, and you tried to stress to

us the importance of keeping the right priorities at a time when it

is so easy to loose sight of what matters.

“I remembered the talk when you kept repeating some funny

initials, but once you explained what you meant, the message stuck,

and I think it applies to this time of year too.”

I remembered the talk and the unusual initials. I always try to

give correct credit, and I can’t find it in any old notes, but I

think the speaker who I originally heard explain the initials and the

meaning was a school principal.

If I recall correctly, the message was about the importance of

raising children with character. The speaker repeatedly referred to

the “IDM Principle” until several people shouted that they wanted him

to explain what he meant. He then explained that it stands for “It

don’t matter,” and while the grammar may be lacking, it is easy to

remember. I applied it years later to a talk about the holidays and

the need to try to focus only on what really matters.

My friend and I talked about the fact that it is a principle that

applies all year long. In the summer, the principle may be helpful

when parents worry too much about dirty cars, sandy carpets, wet

beach towels and busy kitchens. Appreciate those times while you can.

Love your children, and live life fully with them.

The principle also applies to other relationships. God delights

when I have one-on-one time with him, and I’m trying to keep my

priorities right with him, my husband and other loved ones. There are

times to let projects wait and focus on the people we are with when

the moments come.

If we looked realistically at many things in life that we get

overly stressed about, we might be able to laugh and say, “It don’t

matter.”

Many things in life truly don’t, but relationships do.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at

cindy@onthegrow.com or through the mail at 537 Newport Center Drive,

Box 505, Newport Beach, CA 92660.