Remembering the things that matter

CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON

“If you knew that there was one greater than yourself, who knows you

better than you know yourself, and loves you better than you can love

yourself; one who gathered into himself all great and good things and

causes, blending in his beauty all the enduring color of life, who

could turn your dreams into visions, and make real the things you

hoped were true; and if that one had done one unmistakable thing to

prove, even at the price of blood -- his own blood -- that you could

come to him, would you not fall at his feet with the treasure of your

years, your powers, your love? And is there not one such?”

-- A. E. WHITHAM

Last week, I wrote a column about a principle I’d heard a speaker

explain years ago. The principle is called “IDM” which stands for “It

don’t matter,” and though the grammar wasn’t the best, the

abbreviation and explanation were and still are very memorable.

Basically, the point was to remind us to focus on what truly

matters in life. The first time I heard about it, the message was to

parents about spending more time building character into our children

than worrying about things that don’t really matter in the long run.

Hence, when faced with a decision or issue, the parent is to ask how

much it all matters in the grand scheme of things. Therefore, if “it

don’t matter,” it isn’t worth stressing about.

I’ve heard from many readers in response to the column and

realized that every day we are all faced with choices of priorities

that don’t have to do with parenting, and many people shared examples

of issues that didn’t really matter when they thought about it.

A father of two said he read the column while drinking coffee, as

his children ran around the house, throwing toys and making noise. He

decided that they hadn’t done anything against the rules of the

family, and instead of being bothered by any inconvenience, he then

chose to go play with them.

“They won’t always be playing at home,” he said.

I agreed.

Two men commented about being upset by scratches on their new

cars, until they put things into perspective. I laughed because I’d

been bothered that my clean car was no longer clean, thanks to many

birds. I realized that if I were thankful to have a car at all, I

wouldn’t worry about minor annoyances.

Other readers said the principle helped them keep the right

perspective about normal daily problems, which pale in comparison to

what others around the world deal with, as well as what God did to

show his love for us.

Another reader expressed her concern that she let some of her

coworkers’ idiosyncrasies bother her, and that after she prayed about

it, she had compassion for them.

“I guess I realized that in the grand scheme of things, my

annoyances don’t matter compared to what God may have planned for me

or someone else,” she said.

After her comment, I found the quote at the top of this column. Of

course, we all have days when nothing goes our way, and fortunately

we have access to a God who cares about what we care about. We can

tell God about anything and everything, and the more I focus on him,

the less I care about things that don’t matter in the long run. I’m

glad that God cares about what matters to me, and I am eternally

grateful that I matter to him.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at

cindy@onthegrow.com or through the mail at 537 Newport Center Drive,

Box 505, Newport Beach, CA 92660.