Gold star support

Deepa Bharath

Dinora Reynosa rubs her bulging belly and smiles as she talks.

Almost eight months pregnant, the 27-year-old general manager of

Rubio’s in the Costa Mesa Courtyards is constantly aware of the

little baby girl growing inside her.

Reynosa and her husband, Rafael, couldn’t wait to welcome a child

into their lives. But the couple’s dream of their life together as a

family was shattered when Rafael was killed by a car bomb explosion

in Iraq on May 29.

Reynosa has the support of family and friends, but when it comes

to parenthood, she knows that’s a road she’ll have to walk alone.

It’s not a void that can be readily filled, but the community is

trying to help.

Patti Lanni, a Dover Shores resident who read Reynosa’s story in

the Daily Pilot, couldn’t go about her life without thinking of it.

She talked to her friends and neighbors about it, and finally,

eight of them pitched in to buy a few things for Reynosa’s baby.

Lanni did the shopping and gift-wrapping. On Thursday, she delivered

the large boxes and a diaper bag filled with smaller goodies to

Reynosa’s mother’s house in Santa Ana.

“The article grabbed my heart,” Lanni said.

Inside the boxes she brought were a swing, a stroller, a car seat,

a crib mobile and a play pen.

It was an emotional meeting. Lanni’s eyes welled up, and the two

women sat in the living room and talked about life and how cruel it

can be sometimes.

“It devastated me,” Reynosa said. “And I kept asking why. But I

realized I needed to be strong for my baby. I needed to smile and be

happy for her, because whatever I’m going to feel, she’s going to

feel.”

That’s easier said than done.

“If you wake up crying, you’re going to be crying all day,” she

said. “But if you wake up smiling, your happiness grows as the day

goes by. Life has to go on.”

She goes to the cemetery three times a week. That helps her cope,

she said.

“Some people think I camp out there,” Reynosa said, with a laugh.

Getting out to the cemetery has also helped her meet families of

other Marines.

“Talking to them has also helped me a lot,” she said. “We offer

each other a lot of comfort.”

But for all the support she gets, Reynosa said she draws most

strength from her “angel,” Rafael.

They were married only three and a half years, but dated for

eight.

“Those years I spent with him, I felt, were equal to being married

for 50 years,” she said.

Rafael was not only a good husband, but a responsible man, who had

some money saved up for his child’s education, Reynosa said.

“Even I didn’t know about it until recently,” she said. “In 28

years, he had accomplished a lot.”

Before he left for Iraq, Rafael had a feeling that he wasn’t going

to return, Reynosa said.

“He told me as he was watering the plants that I should take care

of myself, and he had a feeling he’s not coming back,” she said.

“When I started crying, he said I should believe in God and go on

with my life.”

Reynosa’s brother, Jose Gonzalez, also a Marine, returned from

Iraq on Wednesday. Gonzalez and Rafael were in different parts of

Iraq, but constantly kept in touch via e-mail, Reynosa said.

“My husband made him promise that if something happened to him, my

brother would take care of our daughter,” she said.

She and her husband had a name for their child even when they were

dating. Rafael had picked Kathya for a girl. He always knew in his

heart that his first was going to be a girl.

“And he said, ‘I can guarantee you, 90%, it’s going to be a little

girl,’” she said.

He died two days before Reynosa had her ultrasound exam. She was

dumbfounded when the doctor told her there was a 90% chance that it

was a girl.

Reynosa, now on maternity leave, plans to return to work, but she

says she also wants to go to school and become a counselor.

“There are people out there I want to help,” she said. “Going

through all this has changed my mentality. There are so many good

people out there who have been there for me, and if I can do the same

for others, it’ll make me feel more complete.”

* DEEPA BHARATH is the enterprise and general assignment reporter.

She may be reached at (949) 574-4226 or by e-mail at

deepa.bharath@latimes.com.