Coach’s decision inspires a bending of the rules

STEVE SMITH

Before I began writing this column six years ago, then-editor Bill

Lobdell gave me a brief orientation. Among the rules was some advice.

Lobdell told me that the job came with a big responsibility, namely

to make sure that its power, such as it is, is not abused.

Over the years, I have worked hard at heeding his advice. I have

never called anyone a personal name even, for example, when former

school board member Jim Ferryman was convicted of driving under the

influence of alcohol. At that time my blood was boiling over both his

refusal to resign and the fact that only one other board member,

Wendy Leece, called for his resignation. But it never got personal.

My opposition to the El Toro Airport never got personal, even when

I was sent a copy of an e-mail written by a leading airport proponent

in which I was called “stupid.”

When that happened, I sent the e-mail’s writer a note that I had

seen the comment and was disappointed. (I had to do that because I

couldn’t argue the facts -- when, for example, I watch my kids

manipulating a computer as though it were as simple to use as a

stapler, I do feel stupid.)

And as far as my memory serves, I have never complained about a

situation without offering solutions. To do otherwise is to whine,

and I know how you feel about whiners.

I am, however, about to bend -- but not break -- one of my

personal rules because of something that apparently happened to one

of my kids.

A while ago, a local coach passed over one of my kids for

selection on a sports team. I’ve been told it was not because my

child wasn’t good enough, but because the coach objected to something

I wrote about the sports organization.

Imagine, an adult coach declining to take a child who would be

helpful to the team because the coach was upset with a written

opinion offered by the parent.

Not only does it appear this coach acted more like a child than my

kid, this coach abused the power of the position because of personal

feelings. In any stage of a child’s contact with an adult, whether it

is a coaching or teaching situation, this is inexcusable.

What is also inexcusable is not fulfilling an obligation to

assemble the best possible team to improve the chances of winning.

So, not only was the move immature and selfish, it hurt the other

kids on the team.

Shame on you, coach. If this is true, you are not only not fit to

coach; you are not fit to walk in my child’s shoes because of what

you did.

I know who you are. Your name was given to me by someone who also

knows what you did and felt guilty enough about it this much later.

But this is the end of it. I’m not going to kick up any more dust

over this because it’s now old news. My only challenge with letting

this go is that you may coach again and may make the same poor

judgment again. Then someone else’s kid suffers.

But I am letting it go because I want my kid to know that being a

good player is sometimes just not enough, that sometimes there are

people in positions of authority who put their petty differences

before sound judgment.

These kinds of poor decisions should be of no surprise to us any

more. This is, after all, an election year and sound judgment is put

on hold at least until after Nov. 2. Day after day, our kids witness

once again a discussion not of the important issues facing our

country, but of conversations worthy of a bad soap opera.

Personal feelings apparently got in the way of this coach, just as

they did when the school board had to figure out what to do with

Ferryman and just as they did when a frustrated El Toro advocate made

a rude comment.

There is the thought that, “Well, coaches are only human.” But it

is precisely because they are human that I hold them to a higher

standard. But even though we are the most developed species on the

planet, some people, some times, act like slugs.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(949) 642-6086.