With friends in the end

Dave Brooks

Over the yelps of her barking dogs and the constant bustle of

visitors, Sandy Howard needs just one second for herself -- a moment

where she can simply feel.

Howard is about to lose her only son, Steve Dunbar, 33, to brain

cancer. Her home has become a revolving door for Dunbar’s endless

stream of tattooed friends and well-wishers who are planning a

benefit concert for him. Although he still enjoys his metal music and

the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dunbar is a now a mere shell of his former

adventurous self, confined to a bed and rendered nearly unconscious

by Morphine

With all the hustle around the tragedy in her home, Howard said

she hasn’t really had many moments to take everything in. Instead she

struggles to keep her composure and follow her son’s last requests:

no looking sad, no feeling sorry for anybody and no crying.

The rules have created a cordial, upbeat atmosphere at the Howard

home, but there’s no doubt as to what everyone is waiting for.

Although he can no longer communicate, friends say Dunbar has long

since accepted his fate. It’s supposed to happen any day now, and

frankly, some of his friends hope it happens soon.

“I just don’t want to see him suffer anymore,” friend Nick

Bradford said.

Things weren’t always this bad. Just last year Dunbar was racing

motorcycles with friends and cheering on his favorite NASCAR driver

Dale Earnhardt Jr. The Huntington Beach native always lived life to

the fullest, whether it was the two years he spent stationed in

Antarctica with the Navy, or his rich career as an auto mechanic at

his dad’s shop, Bradford said.

But four years ago, Dunbar was diagnosed with brain cancer, And

after a complicated surgery, doctors told him he would survive. But

just three years later, the cancer came back. Dunbar tried several

experimental procedures, but in July doctors told him that an MRI

showed the cancer had just spread too much.

Now he has just a few days left to live. His family fears he won’t

be able to attend an upcoming benefit concert his friends are

throwing for him.

That’s a hard pill to swallow for Dunbar’s friends like Ben

Hodges, who watched the auto mechanic narrowly escape death dozens of

times in his dune buggy escapades. Dunbar was an avid desert and sand

racer, known for his propensity to take risks and live life on the

edge.

“There’s footage of him driving a Baja Bug that exploded in midair

and he just walked away laughing,” Dunbar said. “That guy must have

rolled dozens of those things.”

On Saturday, Dunbar’s friends will hold a benefit concert for him

at Kozmos nightclub at 17208 Pacific Coast Highway. For $10,

attendees will get to see five hard-core, punk and heavy metal bands,

staffed mostly by friends of Dunbar.

The money will pay for his funeral costs, said Hodges, the

guitarist for Devil’s Grip, which is scheduled to perform that night.

Dunbar’s medical problems have slowly eroded his families finances

and there is no money left to pay for a celebration of his life once

he is gone.

“For Steve, there is a lot of concern that his family will be in

jeopardy when he passes and this is a way to relieve that tension for

him,” Hodges said.

Dunbar has been very active in planning out his funeral benefit

show, listening as his friends rehearsed some of their songs and

picking out the images to use on the promotional flier.

“The cancer has gotten so bad that he can’t really talk any more,

so we would just show him the pictures and he would give us a thumbs

up for the one he liked,” Hodges said.

Hodges said he understands if some friends and family don’t like

heavy metal music, so he also encourages them to make donations to a

special charity in Dunbar’s name at the Garden Grove Friends Church.

“We want Steve to be able to pass without the stress of worrying

about what his family is going to do once he’s gone,” Hodges said.

“Even in his last days, I know that he doesn’t want people feeling

sorry for him. If you’re going to visit him, you better put a smile

on your face.”

* DAVE BROOKS covers City Hall. He can be reached at (714)

965-7173 or by e-mail at dave.brooks@latimes.com.