Halloween Movies 2004

JIM ERWIN

For some people, Halloween means disemboweling an orange squash and

turning the neighborhood kids into hyperactive diabetics. For me, it

means watching scary movies until my body permanently fuses into my

couch and my eyelids sag below my belly button.

Here are some movies that you can rent that are even scarier than

the November election:

* “Bride of Frankenstein” (1935 -- Directed by James Whale): Dr.

Frankenstein decides to make a mate for his monster. Unfortunately,

the mad doctor doesn’t understand that you just can’t manufacture

love in a laboratory. Doesn’t he watch Oprah? This was the kind of

movie that made me beg my parents to let me stay up late on a

Saturday night so I could watch the Creature Feature. Color is

overrated! Black and white horror is real horror.

* “The Thing” (1951 -- Directed by Christian Nyby; 1982 --

Directed by John Carpenter) Back in the days when the government told

us to fear the Russians, you never knew who was actually a commie

rat. It could be your neighbor, your teacher or even your dog. “The

Thing” plays on that fear. A group of scientists working at a polar

research facility encounter an alien creature that’s capable of

taking on any living form. There’s no way to tell who is really the

monster. Both the original and the remake are great, but I’m partial

to the John Carpenter version starring Kurt Russell. With John

Ashcroft telling us our neighbors might be terrorists, this brand of

paranoid horror is a great fit for 2004.

* “Willard” (1971 -- Directed by Daniel Mann; 2003 -- Directed by

Glen Morgan) Never bully people who seem frail and antisocial. This

is especially true if the person has an army of well-trained killer

rats. The plum roll in this movie is Willard’s abusive boss,

portrayed by Ernest Borgnine in the original and R. Lee Ermey in the

remake. The DVD of the remake includes Crispin Glover’s truly bizarre

music video for the song, “Ben,” which was Michael Jackson’s ode to

rat love.

* Midnite Movies Double Feature -- “An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe”

(1972 -- Directed by Kenneth Johnson) and “The Tomb of Ligeia” (1965

-- Directed by Roger Corman): When you talk about horror stories, you

have to talk about Edgar Allen Poe. Vincent Price became the king of

film horror by bringing Poe stories to the big screen. This double

feature DVD combines two Poe/Price movies. “An Evening of Edgar Allan

Poe” has Price starring in four Poe stories: “The Telltale Heart,”

“The Pit and the Pendulum,” “The Sphinx” and “The Cask of

Amantillado.” The other movie, “The Tomb of Ligeia,” is the finale in

the series of Poe movies that Price did with Roger Corman. Price’s

performances are sometimes over the top, but he’s great with insane

characters who are completely evil. I’ve always wondered how Vincent

Price, “The Abominable Dr. Phibes,” got cast as Mormon Church founder

Joseph Smith in “Brigham Young -- Frontiersman.”

* “Last House on the Left” (1972 -- Directed by Wes Craven): There

were a number of ‘70s splatter horror imitators, but none of them

ever came close to shocking audiences like this notorious movie. When

a couple of innocent kids from the suburbs go to the big city for a

rock concert, we know they’re doomed. Rock music is evil and big

cities are full of homicidal hippies. But what happens when those

devilish hippies wander into the suburbs and run into their victim’s

parents? “Last House on the Left” has been censored and cut and

censored and recut so many times that no two people saw the same

version of the movie in a theater. This movie makes you happy to live

behind the Orange Curtain, far away from terrifying big cities like

Los Angeles and Burbank.

* “Phantasm” (1979 -- Directed by Don Coscarelli): A couple of

kids discover a secret in a cemetery mausoleum that includes a

mysterious tall mortician, a flying silver ball and some really

interesting midgets. This movie and its sequels were much more

imaginative than the “Halloween” and “Friday the 13th” movies of the

same time period. It’s just another reminder that when you see

something supernatural happening at a cemetery, don’t investigate it!

The pursuit of knowledge will only get you in trouble.

* “Poltergeist” (1982 -- Directed by Tobe Hooper & Steven

Spielberg) In addition to directing, Steven Spielberg also wrote the

script for this terrific ghost story. The movie’s special effects

earned two Academy Award nominations. The two most memorable

characters are Heather O’Rourke as the little girl talking to the “TV

people,” and Beatrice Straight as the tiny psychic who was both

creepy and reassuring. O’Rourke died at the tender age of 13 from a

misdiagnosed medical condition, but she’ll live forever in film

history for the line, “They’re here!”

* “Cabin Fever” (2002 -- Directed by Eli Roth): A group of friends

decide to rent a cabin in the woods and discover that nothing spoils

a weekend of hedonistic sex like a flesh-eating virus. The tension

builds as the friends turn on each other while trying to discover

ways to protect themselves. Then there’s all the weirdness for

weirdness sake, like the guy in the bunny suit and wacky little

Dennis who’s really got a thing for pancakes. “Cabin Fever” is a

throwback to old horror movies that didn’t rely on CGI special

effects for scares, but instead left everything in the hands of the

actors and the gory make-up artists. It will have you calling

Sparkletts for water delivery first thing in the morning.

* “The Blair Witch Project” (1999 -- Directed by Daniel Myrick and

Eduardo Sanchez): The genre of fake documentary horror peaked with

this movie. The DVD has an additional documentary, “Curse of the

Blair Witch,” which I like better than the movie. This movie doesn’t

produce any big scares, but the nonstop creepiness stays with you

long after it’s over. If you’ve got kids who are old enough to be

around some rough language, but don’t know about this movie, you can

have fun telling them it’s a true story. You won’t do any harm that

can’t be corrected by years of expensive psychotherapy.

* “Bubba Ho Tep” (2002 -- Directed by Don Coscarelli): Elvis is

alive. Thirty years ago he switched places with an Elvis

impersonator, walked away from his fame and returned to living a

normal life. He and John F. Kennedy, who is also still alive,

discover that an Egyptian mummy is killing the residents of their

retirement home. They are the only ones who know the truth, and they

are the only ones who can kill the mummy. The fate of the world rests

in their hands. Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis are both terrific in

this movie as The King and JFK. Horror comedies always seem to fly

under the radar, and this is a movie that you really should see.

Here are some other titles to consider. Some of these are ones

that I suggested in the past, but they’re all really great to revisit

every Halloween:

* “The Horror of Dracula” (1958 -- Directed by Terence Fisher):

You have to wonder why vampire hunters always wander into Dracula’s

crypt after sunset. Hello? Newsflash, he’s easier to kill around

noonish. This one stars Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, the

dynamic duo of Hammer Studios horror films.

* “Night of the Living Dead” (1968 -- Directed by George Romero):

I have friends who are still afraid to watch this movie alone. A

group of people, trapped in a rural farmhouse, is surrounded by

flesh-eating zombies who have just risen from the grave. If you’ve

never seen it, you’re in for a treat. Rent the original, not the

remakes. Bon appetit.

* “The Exorcist” (1973 - Directed by: William Friedkin): A little

girl is possessed by the Devil and her mother will do anything to

fight for her soul. This isn’t just a great horror movie; it’s a

great movie. The DVD has new footage that wasn’t in the original,

including a very freaky spider walk. Growing up in an old school

Irish Catholic household, my parents convinced me this movie was a

documentary.

* “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974 -- Directed by Tobe Hooper;

2003 -- Directed by Marcus Nispel): A group of people traveling in a

van encounters a happy-go-lucky family of psychopaths. As with all

people driving in a horror movie, they never should have left the

main road. I prefer the original, but both versions are fun in their

own way, and both are narrated by John Larroquette.

* “Halloween” (1978 - Directed by John Carpenter): It’s just not

Halloween without this movie. A vicious killer escapes from an asylum

and kills unsuspecting teenagers. It spawned the ‘80s craze for

faceless slasher flicks. Rent the original with Jamie Lee Curtis,

Donald Pleasance, and P.J. Soles.

* JIM ERWIN, 40, is a technical writer and computer trainer.

The darkness behind the ‘Lights’

There have been excellent sports movies over the years including

some of my favorites, “Hoosiers,” Remember the Titans” and “Miracle.”

These films fired up their audiences by glorifying the struggle of

the athletic contest and not delving too deeply into some of the

darker aspects of competitive sports.

This is certainly not the case with “Friday Night Lights,” which

tells the story of the 1988 Permian High School Panthers. Odessa is

depicted as a hardscrabble town cut out of the featureless and barren

landscape of east Texas. Odessa is basically a wide spot in the road;

its most significant architectural feature being the shrine to

football that is Permian High’s stadium. When the Panthers play,

businesses shut down and the stands are packed. The Panthers have won

the Texas state football championship multiple times and another

title is the expectation every season.

With his future hanging in the balance with every game, Coach Gary

Gaines (Billy Bob Thornton) maintains a calm exterior that masks a

cauldron of emotions. Gaines is supported unconditionally by his wife

Sharon (Connie Britton) and his daughter Jennifer (Morgan Farris).

Nonetheless, the uncertainty of his situation is made clear when his

daughter asks if the family will be moving again when the team

suffers a loss.

A coach is only as good as his players and Gaines is lucky enough

to have a superstar. Boobie Miles (Derek Luke) can truly do it all.

The running back appears to be a “man among boys” and can run, catch

and even pass with enough skill to outshine everybody else on the

field. Boobie has a mouth and an ego to match his prodigious talent

and carries around a stack of letters from the best college football

programs in the country, as well as Mercedes-Benz brochures. He is

the only Panthers player with an assured future in football.

The rest of the players seem to share a common desire to

eventually escape Odessa. However, the town is filled with former

Panthers who peaked in high school and whose proudest possessions are

their state championship rings. Since the Panthers won state titles

in 1965, 1972, 1980 and 1984, there are two generations of former

players hanging around. In one telling scene, a harried young father

and ex-Panther tells the boys to enjoy their championship run because

after that, “it’s nothing but babies and memories.”

Besides Boobie Miles, the film focuses on quarterback Mike

Winchell (Lucas Black) and reserve running backs Don Billingsley

(Garrett Hedlund) and Chris Comer (Lee Thompson Young). Winchell is a

young man full of doubts who wants to escape Odessa, but feels he

must stay with his mother who can’t take care of herself. Comer is so

overshadowed by Boobie Miles and lacking in confidence that he can’t

even move the ball up the field. Billingsley is virtually tortured by

his alcoholic father Charles, himself a member of one of Permian’s

state championship teams. Charles Billingsley is convincingly played

by country singer Tim McGraw as a complete loser, living vicariously

through his son.

Although some of the actors look a little old to be high school

students, the acting is uniformly excellent. The layered back-story

lets you feel the angst and self doubt of these teenagers forced into

a situation they did not bargain for, due to the expectations of

their parents and the community. Luke, who proved he is a fine actor

in “Antwone Fisher,” gives a surprisingly moving performance as his

character deals with unexpected adversity.

As he has done so many times in recent years, Billy Bob Thornton

gives an Oscar-worthy portrayal. Coach Gaines alternately criticizes,

cajoles and supports his young charges, while trying to impart

lessons far more valuable than how to play football. Thornton may be

the most versatile actor working today. In the past 12 months, he has

played the most obnoxious Santa Claus in movie history, Davy Crockett

and now a passionate football coach who refuses to use profanity. For

anyone with a child in youth sports, you only hope they are coached

by a person like Gaines.

Unlike most football movies, I would recommend this film even to

people that normally don’t enjoy sports. The life lessons embodied in

“Friday Night Lights” render it enjoyable and suitable viewing for

just about everyone.

* VAN NOVACK, 50, is the director of institutional research at Cal

State Long Beach and lives in Huntington Beach with his wife

Elizabeth.